


A New Order

by UnrealRomance



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M, M/M, Modern Girl in Star Wars, Multi, OC from another story being used here, Other, Polyamory, depictions of healthy polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-05 11:33:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 34,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnrealRomance/pseuds/UnrealRomance
Summary: Basically this is what woulda happened if Nik had ended up in Star Wars: The Old Republic instead of in Dragon Age.She might seem slightly different, but I'm trying to keep her base personality so let me know if she's ooc from my story if you've read it-- and if not, just enjoy her!Yeah Nik can't keep her nose out of anything and ends up creating a new order of force users. I talked about this on Tumblr and I am weak and can never pass up an idea, apparently.





	1. Starting Out and Making Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note here for those who are Jedi-positive, I hate the Jedi.
> 
> I mean, sure, they're better than the Sith in some ways but the negatives outweigh the positives and they mostly just sit on their ass while the world burns so.
> 
> Yeah, I hate the Jedi.

Since arriving on Odessen, things have been…difficult, but doable.

It was a long journey getting here, but since I dropped in…things seemed to snowball pretty damn fast.

Now I've got a gaggle of Jedi and Sith children, plus a bunch more force sensitives that never got sent either way and…

Well, I started an academy, apparently.

Didn't mean to, exactly. Just helped some Jedi kids run away from Tython, then hopped over to Korriban for some Sith drop-outs and…then to Hutta to make friends with Evocii…

And now here we are on a planet that's not meant to be discovered for another handful of years or so.

The kids are learning all the mindfulness and emotional control techniques I've ever learned.

I'm trying to focus on letting them  _feel_ it, but not letting them use their emotions as an excuse for an action they  _know_ to be wrong. If they do something they know is wrong, they will own up and admit they did wrong, instead of blaming it on 'the dark side'.

In order to encourage that, I have no punishments- only extra training in whatever it is they need to get a handle on. So I sit with them when they screw up and basically talk them through their feelings and how to handle them.

They really blossomed. It's so heartening.

And then a bunch of them left Odessen on the ships we stole off of Hutta, and brought back way more kids.

Because I encouraged them to think for themselves and they thought, 'hey, why not spread our own happiness around?' which I can't even be mad at them for.

Still, would've liked to have been involved in that decision and I made it clear it was the 'being left in the dark' thing that annoyed me, not the 'more kids to teach' part.

It's the funniest thing, too- because after a while, the kids who'd been with me longest, started to teach the new ones the techniques they'd learned from me all on their own, and they did it _so_  fantastically.

Kids teach other kids better than adults do sometimes, and it's wonderful.

And then I hired Torian.

It was difficult, getting hold of him without going through a million other channels, but eventually I spoke to Corridan Ordo who was happy to pass on the job offer.

Torian was picked up and now he's teaching the kids to hunt.

He might also be teaching them Mando'a and talking up the Mandalorians to them, but hey- if that's what they want, that's what they want.

When they're old enough.

I just know that Torian, out of all the Mandalorians I've met, is honorable. There's also Shae Vizla, but she's kind of upper-tier. I couldn't afford her even with the credits we stole from a bunch of Hutt accounts on Hutta.

We made sure to pin all the hacking on each of the Hutts in between each target so they'd focus on each other instead of us. Which probably caused needless war, but since a lot of the Evocii left with me and I picked up a bunch of the street kids while I was there…

Well. It's basically just mercenaries and Imperial spies and bounty hunters down there.

With the odd republic spy, too, sure. But they're pretty few and far between on Hutta, so far as I know. And they can take care of themselves.

It was a terrible thing to do, but we needed money, ships and a safe place.

So we stole the money and the ships and I led the kids out into wild space and let them take the metaphorical wheel when they began to feel the energies on Odessen.

Now all my former Jedi, Sith and all the other kids are learning hunting, combat and emotional control as well as slicing, data mining- just, anything I can get the Evocii or Torian to teach them.

"Comin' along pretty well," Torian comments.

We're sitting next to each other, watching the kids play a war game that Torian and I devised.

You get more points for saving 'civilians' in the shape of little handmade dolls, than you do for defeating your enemies.

Torian's a little iffy on that, but as I've said before, if I teach them anything, it'll be to think for themselves. And that the rewards of saving a life will always outweigh that of destroying one is just…something everyone should learn.

"Well that's all you and the Evocii," I reply with a smile. "You all know so much and all I can do is organize everything. I'm happy to be helping, but…I feel so…"

"Weak?" he asks. His eyes are smiling. "You know I could fix that."

I snort and shove him. He chuckles.

He's been on my case to start learning combat skills with the kids since that whole…incident, with the steel-tailed stalker that attacked camp.

I shot at it with a rocket when the kids had it pinned to a mountainside and that was all she wrote.

Dislocated my shoulder. The rocket launcher was Torian's- who was off with some other kids doing some exercises out in the wilds.

After the explosion, they all came running back, and Torian was surprisingly okay with me using his equipment to kill the thing- though he lamented they'd have to dig the stalker out of the mountain slide I'd caused, and it'd probably be broken all to hell.

He was mostly worried there'd be no trophy to take from the kill. But he found the tail, and cut it off for me.

It's been preserved and it's in my room, on display, because I thought he'd like that I took it so seriously…

And it's kind of pretty. It does look like metal, a little, and shimmers just a bit.

"Someone's gonna try to find you and pick up the trail, eventually," he says, finally. "Need some kind of battle plan."

"Yeah…I know," I sigh. "I don't want to use them to wage war, but I have to teach them to defend themselves and their home…just not yet. They're all too young, even the oldest we picked up are still struggling with their emotional training…we need more time."

"Most planets I know of that stay independent…" he begins and chews his lip. "Do it by makin' a lot of credits. They mine, or hunt or turn their planet into some kind of intergalactic…vacation place."

"Yeah, but…we haven't even cleared the whole temple…base…thing," I flick my wrist at the buildings behind us. "So anything like that would be out of the question…but," I stand up and cock my head at him. "What would you prefer to do? Stay or go?"

He stands up and looks at me, very intensely with his eyes narrowed. "With the way things are goin', seems like war's about to erupt here."

"But I  _am_  going to do my best to make that not happen, so?" I grin.

Mandalorians love war, but hopefully Torian already has a little bit of Shae Vizla's sense in him. A war for nothing is just slaughter. Senseless, purposeless…just wrong.

"Rather be here, anyway," he says with a smile. "More strange beasts to learn and conquer."

I laugh, "well, conquer away. But I was thinking…what if we advertised as a new Order for force-sensitives and an Academy for wayward youth?"

He tilts his head, "wayward."

"Yeah. We take in the most ill-behaved and undisciplined kids from the Jedi, the Sith and the force blind and we turn them all into strong, independent individuals." I shrug. "Or at least, that's the aim. We'd need to gather support from all sides, though…which would mean calling the Sith and the Jedi and informing them of my intentions."

"You'd need allies first," he says. "People to back you up. I could call Corridan. He'd love to stand between  _Jetti_  and their prize."

"That…would help, but I'm kind of…budgeting, right now," I smile. "I couldn't ask them to do that for free and I don't have the money to pay them."

"Will, once you start getting more kids," he says. "Just have to charge for admission."

"What, you mean like, tuition? Sure, I guess…" I pause to think about that. "Would probably have to play up the whole 'hidden planet' angle to stress our level of security so that rich parents would feel safe sending their kids to us to begin with."

"Could start on planets like Nar Shaddaa," he says. "Lots of rich parents with kids, lots of 'em really overprotective."

"Yeah, I guess there are," I smile slowly and look up at him with a new hope lit up in my heart. "Alright! So first we gather resources and more kids…and then we call the Mandalorians, and then the Sith an Jedi…but we'd need more than just the  _Mando'ade,_ as formidable as they are."

His lips curl up a little at my casual use of _mando'a_. He's been here long enough, I could pick up a word here and there.

I also know a handful of words in the Twi'lek's most common language as well as some of the Chiss terms for things.

We don't have many of either, but they were happy to teach what they could of their own cultures and languages to anyone who wanted to listen.

Both Jedi and Sith seem to suppress cultural pride and recognition. The Sith in favor of supremacy and the Jedi in favor of neutrality.

It makes me sick. So I made it clear that isn't happening here.

I mean sure, the Jedi never speak out against it, openly- but there's a general consensus that being too invested in your own people makes you biased or something.

Hate that.

"So…wanna come with me or stay with the kids?" I ask with a grin.

His mouth curls at one edge and his eyes almost seem to sparkle with anticipation. "You kidding? You'll need a bodyguard if you're goin' to Nar Shaddaa."

"And I couldn't ask for a better one, either," I grin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, this is a drabble book kinda thing and there's timeskips if I don't wanna write something because I think it's boring or difficult or would take too long.

The mandalorians have settled in well.

As soon as I got back to Odessen with the credits and the kids- not many of them, but enough-

I face-planted into bed and told Torian he could call Corridan if he wanted to but I was passing out for a couple hundred years.

I think he laughed at me but I can't remember, I think I'd already fallen asleep at that point. I was so on edge around all those sleazy businessmen trying to sell me things I didn't need- plus all the detours to deliver information to Republic spies and soldiers hanging around about slaves being sold off.

Half of them didn't want to do anything about it, so I had to end up searching out  _more_  republic agents than I even  _knew_  about…which was a lot easier than it should've been.

I get the feeling that a lot of those agents made reports with my description and passed it around. Which…I mean, I was prepared for stuff like that and had to have Torian check me over for tracers- then again when we got back to Odessen. Had the whole ship checked out and everything.

Didn't find a single thing.

Now…

Now we've got actual classes going on. No paperwork, I hate paperwork. No homework, as such, either.

The kids learn to do things and prove they can do them, and if they can't, they can keep trying till they can.

I just…really don't want to repeat any of the mistakes that've been made in any other school for any kind of child.

The mandalorians were a little confused over my 'discipline, not control' rules, but they took to the structure easily enough once they'd figured it out.

After the first few kids snuck out after curfew and the Mandos brought them back unharmed but terrified- they realized why we  _had_  a curfew and mostly the rumors kept the kids inside after dark.

Still have people out patrolling at that time, though, just in case. Also to keep the shadow stalkers as far away as possible.

The Mandos just  _love_  hunting the Shadow Stalkers.

"Hey," Torian is leaning in the doorway to my 'office' knuckles pressed to the opposite side of the frame. Suggesting a knock. "Pretty sure Corridan wants to set up a permanent camp here."

"Just ask him to please not blow anything up without letting me know ahead of time," I reply with a smile and return to my datapads. "Don't wanna ride to the rescue when it's unnecessary and could be dangerous, after all."

It was pretty easy to learn to use them.

"Could come down and learn with the kids," he says. "Earn respect. Maybe make friends. The  _mando'ade_  are a loyal people. If you make connections, they might stay if you can pay them or not, protect you."

"I don't want to make friends just so they'll do things for me, especially not so they'll die for me," I reply. "You know I hate that."

"Too honorable for your own good," he says with a smile and walks over to stand on the other side of my desk.

"I'd rather have too much than none," I reply.

He nods, "the honorless man is a man better off dead."

I sigh and hold out my datapad. "Can you make heads or tails of this? I think my eyes are crossing."

He grasps my wrist and plucks the datapad from my hand to put down on the desk. Then tugs me out of my seat. "At least come down and listen to some stories for a while. Do this too long and you'll sleep at your desk."

Acquiescing to the gentle grip around my wrist, I follow him out of my office.

"Is there a reason you're so invested in how much socialization I get?" I ask.

He drops his grip to my hand and threads our fingers loosely together, "might be."

I'm so flustered, I don't say anything and just meekly follow after him while he chuckles at me.

He's probably just noticed I find him attractive and is using it to get me to shut up and follow him because he's a nice guy who just wants me to make friends. I mean, we haven't known each other long and my bounty hunter had to flirt and tease and practically  _beg_  before Torian would actually say 'I love you' and be in a relationship with her.

So that's probably not what's going on, right?

Once we get outside, he tugs me closer to him so we can weave through the tents set up outside the temple with more ease.

We're still unlocking and cleaning up more and more chambers and the kids need to be split up as much as possible- roommates are fine, but ten kids to a space is not at all good.

So the Mandalorians sleep in a camp outside, which apparently, they prefer.

"Torian!" one of the men calls out, "drag our lady out to have dinner with us, did you?"

"Jesus, it's like I'm some kind of hermit in the mountains," I mutter to myself. "I was out here like two hours ago…"

Torian chuckles, "found her trying to work."

"Trying, implying failing?" one of the women grins, she's a pink Twi'lek, with beautiful markings and tattoos. "How about you come sit and rest your weary mind, then."

I shrug, "I guess I've got nothing else to do, really…"

Torian tugs me over to one of the logs and we sit down, with still loosely laced fingertips.

Might be some time before I get used to this, but it's not…terrible. Having more people around. Besides just my kids and the Evocii, I mean.

The Evocii really outdo themselves working on this place, and I have no idea how to thank them or repay them beyond small things.

I've given them the pelts from the creatures the Mandos bring back- once I had enough for all the kids to have blankets, anyway.

I feed them every chance I get…

But that's basically all I can do for now.

Have to fix that, soon.

And looking at the pink Twi'lek has given me an idea.

I pop up on my feet and open my mouth, then close it again before turning on my heel and running back toward the base. "I forgot something, sorry! Be back in an hour!"

"Gonna have to hold that one down to get her to relax, I think," someone comments with a laugh.

And then I'm in the base and running for the comm room.

It's not huge, it's just a small office where I had all the equipment set up to make calls and also…well, there's anti-tracing equipment. I'm not sure how good it is, but…

Well, I left some kids back on Tython.

Not kids, teenagers. The two I originally helped to escape. I asked them to go back and pretend to be perfect Jedi for a while, to save more kids who needed saving. As it is, they've already apparently marked quite a few kids that might want out.

It has to be their choice. If they say no, that's it.

But I've been pretty selective so far, as have the kids- so I don't think we're going to have any kids that don't want to leave being recruited in the first place.

"Hey guys," I smile at the holographic image of the both of them.

They grin in return. "Master!" They both say at the same time.

I hate it when they call me that, and they know it.

I give them a deadpan stare, "how's school going over there?"

"A lot easier with mindfulness training so we can hide our thoughts," Jeremy says.

"And pretending to be a Jedi is a lot easier than actually being one," Bram adds.

"The Grandmaster asked a lot of questions and tried to use force persuasion on us- but we did like you said and we screamed anytime she tried it." Jeremy says. "We told her that some force power in the wild tried to pry into our minds and we don't like it. I think it bought us time, but it won't work forever."

"What do you need, master?" Bram asks with a sassy little grin.

"First, I need you to stop callin' me 'master'," I say.

"Not gonna happen," they intone.

"Second, I need you to send a message to someone, anonymously. A recorded message, can you do that? While you're out on your Padawan training missions and whatnot?" I really hope they can.

"We're not allowed out at all much lately," Bram says. "Flesh Raiders in the area have gotten…aggressive."

"Then I have two messages to send and you'll have to split up, boys, I'm sorry." I smile softly. "Are you still on board?"

They look at each other and then back to me, "we'll find other people to come with us who won't notice what we're doing. We'll just tell them we're delivering mail from family or something. So sure, who do you want us to find?"

"Well, first of all we need to get a message to the Twi'lek settlers being threatened by Flesh Raiders down there- and secondly…I need one of you to take a message to a fallen Jedi. And this one is dangerous- not like you guys. He's almost Sithy."

They make faces.

"Yeah, but if I can get ahold of the guy, maybe I can…do something about that," I sigh and shrug. "It all depends."

They both salute, "no problem!"

And then the comm is dark once again and I return to the Mandalorians as I'd promised.


	3. Chapter 3

It didn't take long to get an answer from both Bengel Morr and the Matriarch of the Twi'lek village.

Bengel Morr wants to stand back and see what I'd make of myself before allying with me. It was a hell of a thing getting the message to him without one of my kids being put in direct danger, but Jeremy is pretty capable of sneakiness, thank god.

The Matriarch was suspicious, but wanted to send the kids in their village somewhere safer, so was sending a few warriors with them to escort them and then protect them should it become necessary. Apparently the Flesh Raiders are getting more aggressive.

Looks like Bengel will either be dead or recruited by some fallen Jedi, soon. If the storyline stays the same regardless of my interventions.

My hope is that I'll be able to send the warriors back home not too long after they arrive and see that everything's fine so they can protect the village from whatever may come. Hell, I might even send some Mandos. Flesh Raiders with training sabers? They'd probably love to see that.

I'm waiting on the kids and warriors to arrive right now, chewing my bottom lip and scrolling through a bunch of reports from my kids on Tython and some of the parents on various planets who gave their kids to my academy in hopes of keeping them out of the fighting- on Balmorra and Ord Mantell it was…really easy to convince them to send their kids somewhere safe.

I mean, I still had to prove I was taking them somewhere safe first, but taking one adult to vouch for me from each camp back with the kids and then dropping them off back at home was enough.

Expensive, fuel-wise, but worth the trips, I think.

My secrecy is dependent on them, and they know it. They could tell everyone who I am and how to contact me and then I'd  _really_  have to go into hiding. And I want to make sure to keep it that way. If they feel they have an ace in the hole over me, they might feel more safe leaving their children under my care.

"Hey boss," one of the Mandalorians raps on my door. "New kids are here."

"Kay, just a minute!" I call back. "Get them settled in the lobby for me?"

"Still doing paperwork?" he calls in with a laugh. "They're already bein' ushered in as we speak."

"Damn," I put down my datapad and rush out of my office.

There's a whole hoard of kids- not the Twi'leks, they're not due for another week.

Instead I've got-

"What are  _you_  doing here?" I ask, a little aghast and suddenly frightened for my life. Rooted to the spot.

I never thought for a second that I'd have to warn them about him. I never thought he'd even notice!

Aric Jorgan is standing in my foyer. Why is Aric Jorgan standing in my foyer.

"I was told that an adult  _usually_  comes with the kids on these trips, to make sure you're always taking them to the same place," he replies.

He's in civvies.

"Oh come on, every inch of you screams soldier," I chuckle a little.

Until I notice the mandos have taken that as a signal to point weapons at him.

Aric's ears flick minutely back and his hands inch closer to his belt.

"Weapons down!" I say in an authoritative voice. "I've actually heard of this one. He's probably just making sure the kids aren't being sold to traffickers or something. We've got nothing to hide."

The weapons slowly go away and Aric relaxes from his stance. "Mandalorians are an odd bunch to hire for protection of a school."

"Do you doubt they'd kill anything coming at them?" I quirk a brow. "They know about traps, security measures- the best mercenaries, slicers and even a whole lot of gourmets." I'm grinning by that point. "They help with more than just defense, though that  _is_  their main job."

"Could've asked for guards from the Republic," he says and then his gaze flicks around the room. "Or the Empire…apparently."

"I disagree with both of those institutions," I say. Then shrug. "I want to do things my way here, and that means everything as neutral as possible. The  _Mando'ade_  may be allied with the Empire, but they're free contractors for the most part. No real loyalty to anyone but Mandalore."

There's a collective grunt of agreement and I realize the kids waiting off to the side are a little spooked after the big show of weaponry and the tense air around us that hasn't dissipated.

"Hey if you kids wanna pick out your rooms, go find Torian Cadera," I grin. "Blonde, big blue eyes, scars on his cheeks that look like half-moons. You'll know him when you see him. He should be out on the grounds."

They shoot Aric an uncertain look.

He shoots me one of determination, "mind if I stay with them?"

"Not really," I reply. "You'll have to go back to Ord Mantell soon though, or the parents will get anxious without news."

He bobs his head, "but now I know where you are."

"I'd prefer you not relay that information to anyone higher up in the Republic, if you wouldn't mind," I sigh. "I'm trying to end the trend of the child soldier, I don't want them busting in here to grab them all."

"The Republic doesn't make children fight," his fur is doing that thing cat's fur does when they're pissed, just on a smaller scale. The effect is mesmer- terrifying! It's scary. Not alluring at all.

Fuck you lizard brain, I'm trying to work here!

"The Jedi do," I respond. "And I do consider eighteen to still be…essentially a child."

Which is the reason why nothing has happened between me and Torian. When I was his age, I was all over him as a character, but I'm older now. And he…isn't. The age gap isn't huge, but it's big enough to put me off.

Doesn't mean he can't still fluster me and I don't still really like him. Just means I don't flirt or make him think anything could ever happen between us. He's just…too damn young.

Aric's jaw ticks, but he nods once to acknowledge my answer before following the kids out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a thing. I forgot Torian was 18, cause in Kotfe and Kotet he's five years older.
> 
> I hate out-aging characters, I want them to grow with me. So that was like, yay! He's almost the same age as I am again! But in my story he's back to 18 and I forgot that.
> 
> Why did they make Torian so damn young to begin with if the Bounty Hunter wasn't also super young? God.
> 
> When I was 18 he was my absolute favorite.
> 
> Oh and I finally settled on one LI. I'm too overwhelmed with projects to do what I'd been planning to do with this, ugh.


	4. Chapter 4

I knew Aric wouldn't keep things a secret, I just asked so I could say I tried. I didn't want anyone knowing where I was- but if it was a choice between the Empire or the Republic knowing, I'd take the Republic.

Don't get me wrong, they're both bad, in their own ways…but the Republic you can at least shame with public opinion. All I'd need is footage of bad behavior towards the kids here and to post it up online- or threaten to- and they'd probably back down for a while at least.

Still, I didn't expect something so soon.

"I see you are…the Master we have been hearing about," Satele Shan has brought both my teenage boys from the Jedi Temple with her. And they're handcuffed.

"Take. Those. Off," I demand darkly as I walk toward the Jedi contingent. "You're shackling  _children_  now? What threat are they to  _you_?"

"They are force users," she replies with an incline of her head. "They are always dangerous."

"Torian," I don't have to raise my voice, he's nearby enough.

A shouted order in  _Mando'a_ and the on-guard Mandalorians are pointing their weapons seriously at the Jedi instead of just in their general direction, waiting for an attack.

"Give them to me," I say. "Right now. Or I swear to god I will rip you a new asshole. Take the shackles off, and let them go."

The Jedi have their lightsabers primed.

"Hey hey hey!" and a face I wasn't expecting, appears to walk around the grouping of Jedi. "There are kids in the middle of this and you wanna start a fight?"

"Theron…" I check myself. "…Shan."

He pauses as if surprised that I knew who he was. "That's right."

"They're children," I tell him with a tight jaw. "And they're in  _shackles_. Either they get taken back with the Jedi to be brainwashed or stripped of a fundamental piece of themselves just because they were trying to  _rescue_  as many other children as possible- or I fight for them and keep them safe. So yes. I do want to start a fight over this."

"We can give them back to you, no problem," his hands are up and while the Jedi don't look happy, they let him talk. Theron can be slick like honey if he wants. I know that. They know that…

They don't know that I know that, though. Knowing his name…is not a big deal. But knowing how he operates…that'll probably throw them off.

"But?" I snap through gritted teeth.

"But we'd like to talk about…your school," he says.

"You want to shut me down, is what you want," I reply.

"If it is necessary," Satele says. I hate that false calm the Jedi project.

I hate even more that to any onlooker, they look like the sensible ones. When I know for a fact, they're not.

"If it's not necessary…maybe we'd just like to know where our kids are going?" Theron says with a small shrug. "I mean, you could be doing anything with them out here and…we're concerned."

" _You're_  concerned," I make the distinction. " _They_  sense a threat to their power structure."

Instead of arguing, he rolls with that, "so would you let me in? If nothing is actually wrong, I could relay a report of that. But I have to see."

"Theron," that motherly concern isn't buried as deep as she'd like it to be.

"So will you?" he asks.

I frown, because I hadn't expected that opportunity to open itself up to me. "There would be conditions."

"Such as?" he tilts his head.

I trust Theron not to be a threat to my children and they won't expect me to not ask him to get rid of his weapons. So… "You can have your weapons, but no cameras that run all the time recording everything. My children's lives are their own and you will get their consent before recording them."

There's surprise and Theron tilts his head. "Sure. Anything else?"

"You stay for a while, not just a day, not just a few days. Weeks, maybe. I don't want you seeing an incident and deciding to run off and tell everyone how dangerous this place is because of it. If you're making any kind of report, I want it to be thorough." I'm taking full advantage as much as I can. Assuming Theron's orders aren't really assassinate and sabotage. Which they probably are. "Though I will assume you also have provisos you'd like to ask for, I have one more request before you ask for them."

He nods, looking really…relaxed and kind of surprised. Like he has no idea how he managed to swing this, but he's taking the windfall. "Shoot. I haven't heard anything unreasonable so far."

Satele doesn't like  _any_  of this.

Bram and Jeremy are calm and have been since this all started. They're doing what I taught them to do. Stonewalling everything so the Jedi can't read them and also so they won't escalate the situation. Dissociation, Force style.

"While you're here, I need your help with something," I say. "I have slicers and soldiers but I have no diplomats and while I'm  _great_  at that particular job…the Empire has begun to take notice of me."

There's a ripple through the line of people around me.

Of course, I've had the Empire trying to contact me since they noticed their kids disappearing instead of dying. But well…I've held them off so far mostly through sheer luck.

"You know about them and how they operate and I'd rather avoid them finding us or declaring war. Either way, you'll be here. So?" I shrug. "Will you help me?"

Theron seems a little torn, though I know it's not over the chance to strike at the Empire from a new direction. So that must be in conflict with one of his orders.

"No fighting," I say to that look. "I just need to find ways around their…Bureaucracy. What little of it they have." I mutter the last part because we all know the Sith just do as they like. But there have to be ways to manipulate them the hell away from my kids. My school.

Theron nods decisively at that, "I can definitely help with that. But I want full access to all systems."

"Done," I respond without batting an eyelash.

All he'll find are school things. I keep future plans for recruitment strictly off-line and don't even write them down. If I need to remember something, I draw a picture and pin it up on my wall. I'm a bad enough artist that you'd mistake them for the kids' art.

That surprises him, I can see it in his eyes. "Alright, we've got a deal then. Grandmaster?"

Jeremy and Bram run to me and stand directly behind me like I'm their commander, which doesn't look great but I know it's probably just because they're afraid and want to look like little soldiers instead of terrified children.

"If you could contain the spread of information about this place, I'd appreciate it," I say to the Grandmaster as the Jedi prepare to leave. "I don't want battalions and battle ships shooting from orbit and invading me."

Satele isn't happy, but she does nod once before departing so I'm guessing she'll do that, to protect the kids she believes I'm abusing if nothing else.

And then it's just us and Theron, who looks very determined but also kind of on guard. "So…can I get a tour of the grounds?"


	5. Chapter 5

" _ **If you want to defend our children, we need collateral or reassurance**_ ," Graystar's scrambled voice on the line is irksome and unnecessary as I already know who he is but he doesn't know that, so.

"You can send an agent with them to stay and watch over them, I don't mind," I reply. "I have been reading up on the struggle on Balmorra and gathering information- I know of a few of them. But I want to choose which one."

" _ **And why should I agree to that?**_ " he asks. " _ **For all I know, you have traitors in our ranks.**_ "

"I need someone that I believe might mesh well here. I know next to nothing besides their personalities and battle skills and not even much of  _those_. You can veto my choice, if you want."

There is a pause. " _ **Who is it you would choose?**_ "

"Zenith," I reply. "He's one of your most loyal, isn't he? He's also one of your most deadly, from what I've heard. If he doesn't want to come, then you can choose. But if I have a choice, I want the best and most battle-ready. I  _am_  anticipating a little trouble from both the Empire  _and_  the Republic at some point in the future. But for now, we are safe. Safer than Balmorra."

Another silence. " _ **I must discuss this with my people.**_ "

"I understand. Get back to me when you can and let me know," I smile. "I will also authorize your agent to send you reports and updates on the children and their health, if that helps. Good evening, Graystar."

" _ **Good evening, headmaster.**_ "

Yeah I'm not too crazy about that title as it still has 'master' in it, but well…

"Balmorran resistance fighters," Theron muses from the wall nearby. "You've called and spoken to rebels from just about every contested planet there is."

"How else am I going to get their kids out?" I ask with a quirked eyebrow. "Also, those are the places where it's most dangerous. I'm just getting started."

"You have almost a full house already," he says. "You going to…expand into those ruins?"

I sigh, "I want to, but…" Wait. "You are a very skilled slicer, who is also combat-ready."

"You just said that like a realization and not like it's something you've known since I got here," he says.

He observes the obvious a lot, probably to point out to people that he knows what's coming next.

"Would you go with some Mandalorians to check for traps?" I ask. "All they can really do is stomp through, do a cursory search, shoot anything that moves- but you can tap into any systems that are there are make sure we've shut it all down if anything is…dangerous."

"I could," he shrugs. "Don't want everyone walking into a bunch of traps, after all, but…I want to ask something first."

This should be good. He seemed to be refraining from speaking directly to me, till now. Probably figured he should go to everyone else first.

Does that mean he has?

I gesture for him to go ahead.

"You don't have any instructors. I mean, besides the Mandos and the Evocii. Handful of people from other places you've rescued are helping with letters and numbers, but no real teachers." I can hear the implied question in that.

"Like I said, I'm just getting started," I reply. "I know everyone probably thinks I've been planning this for years and pulling strings or something but truth be told I just began this a couple months ago. It was an impulse that I followed. I'm still getting things organized. Though if you'd like to help with that, feel free."

"Help with that?" he asks, lifting his brows.

"There are people I want to talk to within Jedi and Republic ranks as well as Imperial ones. You've already agreed to help with that- but if you also want to point me toward some people who might be fit for the role of teacher of a certain subject, I'd be happy to consider the recommendation." Theron is a good man with really good instincts. If he feels confident enough to recommend someone, it's because he's got no doubts about them.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But I'm gonna go with my gut, like usual.

"Interesting…" he says. "Considering your opinion of both governments I wasn't expecting you to want teachers from either."

"I hate the Empire and the Republic as institutions," I respond. "Their people are individuals and should be judged as individuals. I judge the Empire and the Republic by the actions taken in their name- and the individual by that action alone."

He shrugs and nods, "I mean…fair. I guess."

"No organization or institution is completely pure," I tell him. "At the moment, this school is small and manageable- but it will grow. And some of the kids learning here will turn out badly because that will be the path they choose for themselves. They might be warped by a teacher who did or said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Or I might end up hiring someone who undermines me on purpose. Who knows."

He's being very attentive and I think he's a little surprised I'm admitting my own organization could eventually corrupt. But he's really good at hiding his emotions when he wants so it's not always easy to tell. Sometimes I even wonder if I'm only reading what he wants me to read.

"So I am going to judge on a case-by-case basis and just do my best to be good myself. Which is what I'll expect of everyone working for me, too." I smile. "You included. I hope you're being nice to my Imperial kids."

He makes an offended noise and clutches at his heart, "you think I'd be mean to children? I'm hurt. Injured. Wounded."

I snort. "I hope you're not filling their heads with propaganda from the Republic, I suppose I should've specified."

"Well you never said anything about propaganda!" he says. "I've been slipping little brochures into their bedrolls, I admit it."

Planning to sock him in the arm for that one, I strike, but he catches it in his hand. "That isn't very nice, what kind of example are you-oof."

I think the shoulder to the torso surprised him. "Smartass…" I can't help that I'm laughing. His snark and sass are kind of part of why I love him as a character.

Coughing, he retaliates by shoving me and shaking off the incredibly soft blow. I know that didn't hurt. "I have been assaulted. I need reparations. Lunch? You can buy me one of those fancy meals the Evocii make for the kids."

Food trucks are a thing on Odessen now, kind of. Little shops are popping up everywhere. And while I dislike Capitalism enough to want it to crash and burn…for the moment the credit system is all we've got. So I'm not going to begrudge them their livelihood.

And they  _are_  excellent cooks. The Evocii, the Mandos…Jesus, never know what you're missing by refusing.

He just got here, so I'm not fooled by this friendly exchange. He doesn't trust me, or what I'm doing. But he wants to get closer to me to find the truth. Wants  _me_ to trust  _him_.

Jokes on him, because I already do. Guess he'll eventually feel like I trust him 'enough' to figure out I'm genuine.

And…what happens then, I wonder?

"Sure," I quirk an eyebrow. "If you don't mind me working while we eat."

He shrugs, " if it'll distract you from how much work  _I'm_ doing while eating, go nuts."


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh my god."

"I'm fine."

"You're bleeding from  _like six places_!" My voice has gone all high pitched and squeaky by the end of that sentence but I can't help it.

"Yeah well, when you fall down a shaft and onto a huge pile of rocks- cuts and scrapes and bruises…happen," Theron gestures with his hands. Looking distinctly uncomfortable at all the fuss I'm kicking up.

"We need a medic," I say. Holding my head in my hands. "I can't believe I haven't found one yet- why aren't you doctoring yourself?"

He got back supposedly like an hour ago and I kept hearing the Mandos and kids whispering about how bad he looked and I  _had_  to come see for myself- and here he is, working at his station. Bruised and cut up. Looking like he showered, but didn't do much else.

Shrugging he replies, "it's no big deal. They're clean and already scabbing over, so-"

"The kids have already noticed you walking around like this!" I say. Still in a high-pitched voice. Clearing my throat, I explain myself with maybe a bit more eloquence this time. "Theron…you're one of the big-tough-people protecting them. And children are impressionable. If they see someone like  _you_  shrugging off injuries and not getting treated, what will they think to do with their own?"

He actually pauses and looks up from his datapad at that, looking a little surprised. "Uh…big-tough-people?"

"You have a gun, the kids are instructed to stand behind people with guns or other kinds of weapons during an attack," I frown. "And you're an adult. A very calm, collected adult- most of the time. A lot of them probably think you're cool. The way you act will have an effect on them, no matter how long or short your stay is. Don't make the impression that in order to be strong, they have to ignore self-care!"

His expression stayed kind of dead through that whole explanation but a little flicker of something passes his face at that last part. "I…okay. I didn't think about that. But…you think they think I'm cool?" Instead of coming off as arrogant or playful he seems…uncertain. "They've barely spoken to me and I'm uh…well, I'm kind of a workaholic," he admits. "I probably seem really boring. And if I don't, then kids these days..."

"Theron you're basically a superhero from a comic book," I tell him flatly. "You fight for what you perceive to be the greater good and all justice in the universe or whatever- and you have a gun and know how to use it. Plus you're an expert slicer. These kids have heard about you, even just from the Mandos gossiping about your exploits. The most mundane tasks are probably imagined as something larger than life. You don't actually have to  _do_  anything."

How is it I'm the only adult here who actually knows how a kid's mind works?

He still seems skeptical, but he nods and puts down the datapad. "Hey, your school, your rules. Won't hurt me to slap a few bandages on for appearances if that's what you think is best."

"Thank you," I mutter and turn on my heel to leave the room.

"Just one question, though," he looks really thoughtful when I turn around, which is a huge warning sign. Theron doesn't look thoughtful unless he's planning mischief. He can look serious, severe…wistful, even.

But thoughtful Theron is not good.

"What?" I ask, warily.

His eyes spark with something that I think is amusement. "Do you actually believe the kids think I'm cool…or is this you projecting?"

My expression goes completely blank, but I have never been able to control the whole blushing thing. "I don't think you're cool because you're a super spy." I deadpan. "That is not ever a reason I think anyone is cool. So no, I am not projecting."

And all of that is technically correct.

"You alright there?" Oh he's definitely screwing with me now. "Seem a little hot."

"Oh shut up," I snap flatly. "I'm allowed to admire people for their work as much as anyone else."

"Yeah but talking me up to the kids…" His eyebrows lift. "Seems like a little more than admiration."

And even though I know that was a dig because he doesn't know for sure that I do that- I still cannot control how red I turn.

I can, however, control when I leave. So I turn on my heel and go, for real this time. "I don't talk 'up', I state facts." I can hear him laughing at me as I leave, though. And isn't that just a wonderful feeling? Jesus, I've embarrassed myself enough, I need to distance myself from Theron a little.

The kids and the Evocii and some of the other rescues and refugees around can convince him I'm on the up-and-up. No need to be so personally involved. Especially as he's been testing the waters a lot recently, playful and kind of friendly in that way that means he's about to start trying to flirt with me and I won't be able to handle it.

Not in the sense that I might melt or my heart my explode but more in the sense that I know he's trying to seduce me for information and that might break me so I'm protecting myself from that outcome.

He's only been here a few days and he's already integrated seamlessly into my power structure. God, I wonder what's gonna happen when I finally have to call up an Imperial official to parley. How am I gonna swing this?

Problem for another day. Right now I need to prepare for the next wave of kids coming in- those rooms that Theron cleared need to be cleaned, secured and made homey. Is there room in the budget for better bedding for everyone yet or do I still have to buy bedrolls?

Ugh, I hate adulting.

"Got somethin' for ya," Torian walks up from a nearby corridor with a datapad. "Getting messages from some people nearby noticing Imperial patrols picking up and changing routes around."

"Getting nearer to us?" I ask.

"Maybe," he says. "What do you need us to do?"

"It's the Empire, you have an agreement with them and it'd be weird for you guys to fight them. So…" I sigh. "Looks like we have to call in more reinforcements. I wasn't planning on contacting them so soon but…"

"I'll check to make sure the comm room is empty and free of bugs," he says. "Can never be too careful."

Not since Theron, he means. I don't blame him for being cautious, and I am…grateful.

But now I have to go back and _get_ Theron because I don't want him to think I'm hiding anything.

Also, it'd probably be good for him to be aware of the Revanite group's exis


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently my new pattern is updating Unwritten once a week alongside two other updates to whatever random-ass stories I've got the inspiration for that week. Lmao. Here's a new one for you.

"So…what are we doing out here, again?" Theron followed me as I went on a walk outside the boundaries of our main camp.

Even as I repeatedly told him it was dangerous and there were shadowstalkers about.

"Scouting," Torian responds matter-of-factly. "Gotta be more buildings or ruins somewhere we can use."

"It's also good to keep ourselves stocked up on meat and fur and other stuff like edible berries and herbs," I mutter distractedly as I search the ground for any non-poisonous mushrooms. "I also like taking swatches of moss back to grow on the lawn."

"Oh yeah, I saw that. Dirt paths with little squares of green spongy stuff lining them out." Theron follows next to me and watches the woods, one hand on a blaster. So I guess at least he's taking the threat seriously, at least. "Is it Decorative or is there a function?"

"Both," I reply. "Moss can sop up a lot of water and hold onto it for a long time. And if you squeeze all the water out and then re-introduce some later, the moss will come back to life and hold water again. Certain kinds of moss are better at this than others."

There's a silence that I think is Theron staring at me, a little confused or maybe askance cause I hear Torian chuckle and answer whatever look he's giving me, with: "If we ever get hemmed in so we can't reach a source of water, we'll have a supply besides the stuff shut up in the storerooms. Meaning we'd be able to hold out a lot longer than our opposition thought we could. Starving takes a long time, thirst…kills you faster."

"Oh," Theron replies. "You know. I get that this is all just in case you face some kind of incursion, but how…do you know about all this? Battle tactics, survival strategies. You almost seem…"

"Mandalorian," Torian interjects. "Or like a soldier. But she's too soft for that."

If I didn't know he meant my body and not like, my character, I'd be offended. But he's right. I'm soft and squishy and mousy. "For all you know, that was like a decade ago for me or something and all the muscle just…went away."

"No," Torian responds. Simply.

I sigh, "can't you even let me  _pretend_ to be cool for like five seconds?"

A smothered noise of amusement comes from Theron's side behind me but no response from Torian which means he isn't dignifying my petulant whining with a response.

And then I…feel something. A slight tugging, inside myself.

Having felt this many times before, I instantly stand and begin to follow it. My instincts usually steer me to interesting places. But I don't usually have tag alongs for this part.

Torian is used to following me around, wordless and inquisitive, through the forest.

Theron isn't.

"Uh…where are we going now?" He asks.

But I can't answer, because any small distraction will make the feeling go away.

"Don't talk to her when she's like this," Torian helpfully instructs. "Follow. Quietly."

I imagine I can feel Theron's unease at the strangeness of the situation- I have hyper empathy so I feel other people's strong emotions pretty often. Even when they're not outwardly expressing anything my brain reacts.

The unease gets worse and worse as we travel deeper and deeper into the wood, skirting around trees and under low-hanging ivy…

Until eventually it peaks and I come out of my sorta-kinda-trance.

To see the mouth of a huge ass cave in front of me. Almost completely covered with vines, flowers and roots from trees up high above on the ledge overhanging the entrance.

"Oh, it's a cave," I observe. "Torian?"

"Theron," Torian gestures at him. "On point with me."

"Why are we going in the cave?" Theron asks even as he draws his blasters.

"Wanna know what's in it," Torian replies.

Theron sighs, "we're probably just going to find more of those dangerous animals and some mushrooms."

"I hope they're medicinal then," I respond blithely as they head for the cave entrance. "Or at least not poisonous. Be helpful if they're tasty, too."

"Ha. Ha." His sarcastic laughter echoes as he enters the cave. "Okay…a lot deeper than I thought it'd be."

"Keep your eyes front, I'll watch our backs," Torian instructs him.

And then I hear nothing else for a while.

Sitting on a stump and taking out the small vibroknife that Torian gave me a while back, I start whittling sticks into smooth spears with sharp points. I usually give these to the Mando's who like to use them for a bunch of different things. Apparently bows and arrows and other older warfare weaponry is used to make hunts even harder and more challenging sometimes and having spears ready and available to them just tickles them.

Finding a much thicker bit of wood, I smile to myself and start carving myself a wooden lightsaber. Hunting around for similarly sized branches takes a few minutes and then I've got a good sized pile beside me.

But that's around the time Theron and Torian come out of the cave- and Torian doesn't blink an eye at my pile of spears and wooden lightsabers but Theron looks mildly freaked out.

"Uh…"

"She gets bored easy," Torian says. Through his calm, he almost seems amused.

"Well come on in, you're going to want to see this," Theron says and jerks his head in the cave's direction.

"What is it?" I sheathe my vibroknife and follow after him into the dark of the cave.

His implants light up the space around us enough to see to walk- some kind of flashlight attachment? Cool.

"Some kind of natural crystal formation," he says. "All clear. Not white, just clear."

"Ooooh," I breathe and run further down the path, always keeping within Theron's light but eagerly bouncing on the tips of my feet every time I have to pause and wait for him to catch up.

Eventually we get to the inner chambers and Theron was downplaying it.

It's like a huge cave-geode that's just…packed  _full_  of millions of small crystals and hundreds of large ones interspersed here and there.

The humming I finally notice is what makes me stop dead in my tracks. "Theron. Call Satele."

"What, why?" He looks over at me in concern.

"I…just call her and tell her she'll know why I needed her when she gets here," I reply. "I can't explain- I feel-"

These are force crystals.

Theron and Torian can't hear the humming. I know it. Or they'd have commented on it.

But I can.


	8. Chapter 8

"You were right to call me." Satele is looking very creasy-browed and I don't like it. "Those crystals, they definitely have some resonance in the force. But the energy is…strange."

"Neutral, even?" I ask. "Not light or dark?"

Her frown becomes more pronounced as she says, "you feel it as well."

"I was hoping the humming didn't mean what I thought it meant," I reply. A little hollowly. "But it does, doesn't it?"

"If you could hear them singing, then yes, it does," she says. She seems almost sorry for me. Whether that's because I'm discovering I have force powers or discovering I have them so  _late_ , I don't know.

Atton Rand, Disciple and Mira weren't Jedi when the Exile met them, and they were adults who learned.

The only reason the Jedi started accepting only children of a certain age was to make them more malleable, suggestible- to raise them in the way of the Jedi so it would be all they'd ever known. It's disgusting.

And it doesn't even  _work_. And they know this, because kids who've been raised in the Jedi enclave still  _fall_  but do they look for new solutions? Of course not.

"What do you intend to do?" she asks.

I blink. "With my force powers? Same thing I was planning to do with the kids'. Learn to use them responsibly and in order to protect myself and anyone else who needs them." Shrugging, I slump in my seat. "I have the Mandalorians teaching them self-defense techniques and now I'll actually have to start learning with them, which I wanted to avoid."

"Why?" She asks with a critical eye focused wholly on me.

"I've got emotional issues," I inform her blithely. "I'd prefer to get them under control  _before_  learning to properly punch someone in the face."

She almost seems surprised. "That is very responsible of you. But then if you know emotions-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," I hold out a hand as if to physically stop her words. "My issues don't lie in the emotions themselves. But in how I am sometimes unable to control my  _response_  to those emotions. It's a skill like anything else that I began developing rather late in life. But I have made strides in these past few years and I feel I will only get better with time."

"You know that the Jedi disagree so I will not waste words attempting to convince you of the error of your ways," she says.

"And you know  _my_  opinion so I will refrain from doing the same," I reply with some irritation. She could've definitely phrased that to sound less arrogant.

"I have angered you," she says.

"No." I reply. "It's a mild irritation. I choose not to hide my smaller emotions because the kids need to see that it's okay to be angry, so long as you don't do anything bad with that anger. That anger is healthy." I gesture at her. "You'd do well to learn to speak less in absolutes and with no assumptions of rightness. You just sound arrogant, short-sighted and stubborn. People tend to get irritated with that."

"I do not assume rightness," she replies. "But we are getting off-topic."

"And we'll keep doing so if you're gonna lie straight to my face and then expect me to say nothing to call you out on it," I reply. "If you didn't assume rightness, it would be obvious. When I express an opinion I am always aware that my opinion  _could_  be wrong. When I have facts to back me up, I'm more confident, but I always ask people for their opinions and I don't imply that other people are wrong by saying things that imply that I am absolutely right. Such as 'convince you of the errors of your ways'."

If she weren't a Jedi, I'd say she's struggling to keep her composure. "And how would you have said that, then?"

"'Let's agree to disagree'," I reply. "It doesn't imply rightness on either side, only a disagreement. What you said implied that I was wrong, but you weren't gonna waste time trying to convince me of that. Whether or not you're actually right, that's incredibly infuriating to regular people. It'd do you well to learn to speak to others in ways that won't incite their anger against you."

There's a pause as she stares at me, and then she says, "you are attempting to…help me."

"Why else would I argue with you so hard?" I make a face and flick my wrist. "I get no pleasure from people cowing to me or admitting I'm right just to shut me up. I like to help others in their own self-improvement and to gain their assistance in mine. You know, how societies are  _supposed_  to work."

"And if I were to tell you that you're wrong?" she asks.

"You'd have to explain how and actually entertain a  _discussion_  with me. No one learns by being told they're not worth your time. That doesn't necessarily mean  _you_  have to be the one to educate them. But Jedi kind of pride themselves on things like that, don't they? Just seems hypocritical to tout yourselves as great, wise teachers and then be unwilling to actually teach anyone anything just because it takes time and energy."

Where it concerns things like prejudice, the oppressed shouldn't have to instruct their oppressors how to treat them. But the Jedi are the most privileged class in this entire universe aside from the Sith. They have a responsibility to learn  _and_  teach everything they can. To protect, to guide and to refrain from conquering.

"I will concede that point," she nods.

Shocking the hell out of me really. Jedi don't really often take criticism. I remember that much.

"You will?" I ask. "Interesting. Most Jedi I've met didn't take criticism at all."

"I have always considered teaching to be one of our highest aspirations," she replies. "It had escaped my notice how much I was avoiding it. I will be certain to correct that in the future. It does not mean I agree with you."

"Yeah didn't figure," I reply. "So about the Crystals…they're all clear. That's weird right?"

She flows with the subject change beautifully. "I plucked one off the wall, to see what would happen."

"So what happened?" Did a monster pop out of the floor? In the games that kinda thing happened a lot when you touched shit you weren't supposed to.

"It changed color," she informs me. And then shows me the crystal after removing it from her belt.

It's a bright silvery color. And it looks…cloudy.

I reach out and touch it, but it doesn't respond, or change color at all. And I realize what that means. "They're attuned to whoever touches them first."

"Indeed," she replies. "So what do you intend to do with them? You don't train the children with Lightsabers and likely don't know how to make one or the correct forms for them."

"They can be used to aid in meditation and stuff, I remember that much. We don't need lightsabers. And even if we did…I have connections that could make all of that a lot easier." Cracking my neck, I sigh. "The kids will all want one, if only to see what color they might turn. Kids like color-changing things."

"You could likely sell them," she says. "Why not supply force users with them for a profit to support your institution?"

"You mean why not give Jedi more powerful tools of war?" I ask with an eyebrow quirk. "You  _know_  conditions would go along with that."

She tilts her head, "I am now in possession of one attuned to me. So what would you demand that I keep it?"

I know she's just asking a question but Jesus. "Another note, don't use the word 'demand' unless you don't care if you piss people off. Even if they  _are_  being demanding, it's better to use a more neutral word during negotiations."

She stares at me in silence and I'm assuming she's ignoring me in favor of me getting to the point.

So I stare back and wait for a response. I'm not playing her game. She'll talk to me like I'm an equal or I won't speak at all.

A minute or so into the staring contest, she seems to realize what I'm doing and closes her eyes as she clears her throat. "I believe that tempering my words will only make me a liar. But I don't wish to debate that now. I want to discuss this first," she says. Pointing to the crystal still held cradled in her palm. "We can continue any debate about wording after we have done so. Is that agreeable to you?"

I'm gonna mention that she tends to talk down to people like they're unmanageable children, when that time comes.

"Sure, why not," I say whimsically. "My conditions are very simple. You want a crystal from Odessen? Come and take classes with my kids on emotional processing and response."


	9. Chapter 9

My one mistake was believing that she'd never go for it.

Those crystals must be something else.

First morning after she came to Odessen to investigate them and after I delivered my conditions, she offered to be the first Jedi trained in whatever techniques I could give her. That threw me for a loop.

I suspect half the reason she's here is to watch out for Theron. And the kids, of course. Because she still probably assumes I'm doing something bad with them.

So here we are, in my office, sitting across from each other in comfortable chairs, drinking tea. If we're doing this, it's my way. No Jedi kneeling, no stonewalling.

I informed her she'd better be ready to feel something because this training was useless if you didn't have something to work with. But we've already hit a snag.

She's been a Jedi for so long that not allowing herself feelings is her default state now. So we're gonna have to do something extreme to get them to come out.

"Well, I usually use visualization techniques with the kids. Remembering things that made them feel certain ways, or devising scenarios for them to become immersed in and then reacting to that. But that's not gonna work for you, I think."

"Meditation calms me," she replies. "Using it to bring about emotion would be nearly impossible, and if I could manage it, it might forever be more difficult to use it for that purpose."

"Right," I shrug. "So instead of visualizing or meditating, we're going to do an active exercise."

I wonder if she'll object.

She nods, "alright."

"I want you to go and talk to Theron," I say.

We're both quiet for a bit, her staring at me as if attempting to decipher something.

"About?" she asks.

"His day," I reply. "New things going on in his life. His feelings. And instead of counseling him against allowing his feelings to overtake him or any of the things you'd usually do- I want you to  _empathize_. Or at the very least, sympathize. Put yourself in his shoes, and  _feel for him_. Even if you can't accomplish it the first time, keep trying every day. When you're finally able to feel something, even if it's not for very long. We'll start with the next stage. And tell him what you're doing and ask for his help. If he refuses, I'll find another way."

I don't want Theron finding out he was a teaching aid after all this and feeling hurt because his mother wasn't just asking cause she wanted to know.

She gazes deep into her mug of tea. "You know, then."

"A lot of people know. And even if they didn't, it'd be obvious there's  _some_  relation. He's too bitter when he talks about you and you look too much alike. Plus you know. Same last name. That's not like, obvious or anything." I'm being a little sarcastic but…well, come on.

She nods. "I suppose that is true. I will ask him, then."

"When you feel something, come and find me, even if it's the middle of the night and I'm asleep. Don't meditate it away, or block it out. In fact, if you can, keep it going for as long as possible." I advise. "I'll teach you some techniques for working  _through_  your emotions, instead of just ignoring them. That's what I teach all the kids here."

"And you believe once I have done so, I will have gained some insight into how to control my emotions?" she asks.

"No no," I wave my hand. "This isn't about controlling your emotions. It's about controlling  _you_. You'll understand what I mean when you finish the first lesson, I'm hoping. If not, I'll try to help you to understand it in a different way. But if you don't figure it out for yourself, it kinda means nothing."

She nods, "that I do understand."

"Alright. Well I'm going to go out into the caves with Torian and see if they react to non-force users, too." I stand up out of my seat. "After all, I don't only have Jedi and Sith kids here, or other force sensitives. There's plenty of force-blind children who'd feel really left out if the other kids got a special graduation present and they didn't. Also, don't use the force."

She looks at me in surprise as she stands with me. "At all?"

"I tell my kids they're not allowed to use the force in my lessons, and you'll be held to that same standard. You need to learn to empathize or sympathize without literally feeling someone else's feelings. For one thing that's horribly invasive if you haven't asked permission and for another, you forget how to do it normally if you rely on the force too much. So no, not at all. If you're just playing games with the kids, feel free. But not during the exercise."

And with that, we go our separate ways.

I know she's probably only doing this to be close to Theron, and maybe to understand how I'm teaching the kids so that when they eventually try to raid us and steal all the kids, she'll be able to teach them out of it. Whatever. For now I don't really have to worry about it.

Until the Jedi have sufficient evidence or motivation to move against me, they won't. Inaction is their natural state of being.

It's part of the reason I kinda hate them.


	10. Chapter 10

Torian's crystal attunes as a sandy color.

I had a suspicion that the colors would depend on the person and this just confirms it.

"What do I do with it?" He asks. Staring at the crystal in his hand with some fascination but mostly confusion. "Jedi meditate. Mandalorians don't. Can't use lightsabers either."

"Crystals have always been said to hold properties of the Arcane, where I'm from. Sometimes it's just good to have them on you. Like a good luck charm or a worry stone. You could have it set into your armor, maybe one of your gauntlets or something." I shrug, "I mean, it's entirely up to you."

"I'll hold onto it," he says. "Might find a use for it. For now, it's just a pretty trinket. But those can be useful too, sometimes."

I laugh, "you could make some kind of special ornamentation for armor so you could wear it and maybe give it to your girl someday."

"My girl?" he asks, musingly. "My girl will probably be Mandalorian. Won't have much use for it either."

I snort, "just think of it as a trophy, then. From your time on Odessen. Whenever the course of life takes you from here, you'll have something."

He nods slowly, "that works, too." Smiles a little.

"Just don't let anyone else see until I've informed everyone of what they are, what they do and what they'll be for. If anyone wants one, they'll have to take the classes." I sigh. "A lot of people are gonna be upset they can't just buy them, but…"

"Not gonna make me take your class?" he asks.

"Torian I'd have you  _teaching_  some of my emotional skills classes if I could," I say with an incredulous tone. "You get emotional on occasion, sure, but you usually have the wherewithal to decide against your emotional response if you feel it isn't honorable. You might not have my same ideas of honor- but you are in complete control of yourself where it concerns your own."

"Hm…" he looks at the Crystal and pauses thoughtfully. "You going to get one?" He jerks his head back toward the cave over our shoulders.

I shake my head. "Not until I've announced what they're for and… definitely not till I've become a little more confident in my own self-control. I'm going to practice what I preach, which is going to be so  _hard_  cause pretty rocks." I gesture at the Crystal in Torian's hand with big, sad eyes.

Two chuckles meet that display instead of just the one I was expecting and I whirl around to see Theron approaching us.

"Hey, thought I might find you two down here," he says. Smiling in a way that immediately puts me on guard. Why is he smiling like that? "Torian, you mind if I borrow her for a minute?"

Oh shit, I'm in trouble.

I have no idea what I did, but I suddenly regret every life choice I've ever made.

"Sure. Just gonna get some Hunters and set up a patrol around here. Don't want the kids tryin' to sneak in and get some…pretty rocks." He gives me that small smile though it's a tad more like a smirk this time.

I'm too terrified to do more than fake a mad face which just makes him chuckle to himself as he walks away.

As soon as he's out of earshot, Theron walks over and.

I panic.

"What did I do?" I ask.

Theron stops cold and stares at me. "You sent my mother to talk to me? For a force exercise?"

"Oh," I blink. "Did you agree to the exercise or is this your way of telling me you don't want the subject brought up again?"

"I…wanted to ask…" He's struggling with something. "Why. You told her to talk to me?"

"You're her son, Theron. If she's got any hope of getting back in touch with her emotions, it'll be through you. Or your father, though I don't think we want to go opening that particular can of worms, so…" I trail off at the look on his face. "She was supposed to ask permission so that if you wanted-"

"No, it's-" He struggles, again. "It's  _fine_. I just think you're wasting your time. My mother abandoned me when I was born. I doubt she'll be making any connections to me as an adult." He turns joking and sarcastic then. "I mean if she couldn't love me as a baby, I honestly doubt adult me has got a chance."

I don't realize I've moved my hands until I feel the fabric of his jacket under my fingertips. My hands rest on his crossed arms. I was so absorbed with his facial expressions I didn't even notice he'd crossed them over his chest.

There's a moment of complete silence. And then I break a promise I'd made to myself.

"Theron, you've probably…got the skills and know-how to break into a Jedi's quarters and poke around without them knowing, right?"

He's watching me very carefully.

"If one were to do so, one might look for a locket. It might answer a question for them they've always wanted to ask." I turn away then and drop my hands. "So hey, come in the cave with me? There's something you should have."

Theron suppresses more than he should, but even still, he's about as stable as Torian. Even when Lana betrayed his trust on Rishi and got him tortured, he was able to  _feel_  angry while also putting it aside for the good of the mission.

Theron should probably also be a teacher here. But he's voiced a need to be mostly behind the scenes. A slicer, a diplomat, but not a teacher. Not a leader. Not on any teams.

Figures.

"Okay," he follows me without missing a beat. "But you're not honestly gonna tell me I'm as emotionally stable as Torian, are you? That guy's a rock."

So he  _was_  eavesdropping as he walked down. I'd wondered.

"Emotional stability takes many forms. Yours is…a little more centered around putting your feelings aside for the sake of a greater good, but you don't deny yourself the emotions themselves. You just do what you need to, no matter what your feelings are about it."

He's quiet behind me but he's clicked on his flashlight in his implants, so I know he's still there, following me.

When we reach the inner chamber, I gesture at one of the crystal-encrusted walls. "Pick one. But take your gloves off. I don't know if they'll interfere with the attuning, but…"

He steps forward and pulls his gloves off in a very businesslike, casual way. But the way he reaches for the crystal on the wall in front of him is hesitant.

"It attuned to Torian just fine and he's not a force user," I say. "So it shouldn't have any problem with you, either."

He grasps it and plucks it off the wall with a sharp intake of breath, almost like he felt something. And then he holds it out to me and we both stare down at it. It's too dark and the light from his flashlight is casting too many shadows. Which is exactly why Torian and I left the cave to begin with. To see what color his crystal had turned.

But even in the dark, I can see the way it shimmers when the light hits it.

"Come on, let's go see." I walk with Theron, slowly, out of the caves.

He's got the air of a man walking to his doom. I think maybe the fact that it seems so clear in the light of his flashlight, he's afraid it didn't attune.

Theron doesn't really have what I'd call a  _complex_  about the force, but he probably considers his force blindness to be the source of a lot of pain in his life. After all, it was him not being able to manipulate the force that ended up in him being kicked out on the street at such a young age.

Yet another reason to hate the Jedi.

When we get outside, I almost miss the change to the crystal, it's so subtle, and Theron obviously doesn't see it but-

I can't hold in my excitement. "Oh! So it does do more than just change color!"

Theron jerks as if slapped, out of a sort of reverie, staring at the crystal. "What? It's just…clear. It didn't-"

"Theron, it's  _sparkling_. None of the other Crystals have done that!" I grin. "It's not just color, they can also completely change their composition!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate winter.

I got a whole shipment of Voss children coming in today. I called them as soon as I found the crystals and informed them of the deal and the properties of the crystals themselves. Didn't get a  _lot_  of takers, but the kids I  _did_  get, came with a budget from the Voss governing body to pay for their beds, uniforms, etcetera.

I immediately gave the money to my crafters section filled with Evocii and Twi'lek builders and seamstresses and tailors and whatnot and they were able to come up with something. For  _all_  my kids, not just the Voss.

It was a lot of money. And the planets' abundant natural resources mean I didn't really have to go that far to get the things I needed to make the stuff we were needing so…I basically just had to pay for labor and tools.

The procession files into the main hall with solemn gravitas weighing down their every step. As is apparently the way of the Voss- or at the least, the way of the Mystics.

I was kinda hoping their kids would be a little cheerier, more like children. But it seems they have the same general problem as the Jedi and Sith. Training kids to behave in too rigid a way before they've even decided who they are.

I mean, it's part of  _all_  their cultures, sure. And they should definitely know how to behave in that way. But I wonder if the Voss children have that same personal disconnect with who they are as a Mystic and who they are as themselves- as the Jedi and Sith children do.

For the Jedi, being a Jedi  _is_ who they are and any straying from that path, even so much as a little sense of humor or too much compassion can be a warning sign to the Elders that they'll fall. I know of a lot of Jedi who were charming, roguish, funny- but they all seemed to have a tumultuous relationship to the rest of the order, so far as I can remember.

Which probably caused a lot of identity crises before they were able to just decide 'fuck it, I'll be who I want'.

"We are ready to begin the exchange," Sana Rae informs me.

I made sure to ask for her personally. I want people I already know will work well in their places. In exchange for her watching over the children, she's teaching  _all_  my kids what she knows of Voss healing.

"You know the conditions?" I ask politely.

She nods. "I will be as unbiased as I can in my instruction. The Voss are not particularly taken with either the Sith or the Jedi, the Empire or the Republic- so it will be quite easy to simply refuse to speak on the matter altogether."

Which isn't  _exactly_  what I want, but if that's what she's comfortable with. "Thank you for coming, Sana-Rae. I appreciate your effort."

I kind of had to do it this way. Something has to be given to get something on Voss, and while they do like generosity, they also don't like outstanding debts to people, so in order to for me to accommodate their chaperone, I had to come up with a cost, and lucky lucky me, I knew just what we needed.

She'll not only be a teacher but also like the school nurse till I can find an actual doctor. And once I've gotten to know her a bit better and seen her through some of the courses, like Satele is doing- she'll get a crystal, too.

"No thanks are necessary, the exchange has been made," she says. And then smiles a little. "But we are happy to be here and grateful for the opportunity."

I grin, "happy to have you. Anyway, let's show the kids to their dorms and get them their uniforms, yeah?"

I didn't want to make anything like what the Jedi, Sith, or any other Force using organizations have for their armors. I wanted something unique, customizable- and that would grow with the person. Something you could patch and still have it work as well as new.

In the Kotor series, there were armors I really liked, though. The Zeison Sha's armor sets were…just the  _best_. They looked good, they were functional- I loved them. I especially loved putting all my favorite companions in them so we'd match.

Still wish I could've changed the colors…

So instead of focusing on it as if it were something to signal you belonged to a group, I instead decided that actual armored robes would be saved for graduation. While in school, the kids would need something that would protect them and also allow them to express individuality. Allowing for ease of movement and of course it'd need to be comfortable.

So I decided on a bodysuit with a skirt that goes around their hips and drapes down to their knees and one of those half-capes over their shoulders. They can easily remove both parts for the more vigorous movement exercises but the extra bits of clothing will keep them warm when it gets cold out.

I made them a pair of knee-high boots with steel toes because if they're gonna be walking around on Odessen, who knows what's out there ready to bite them in the legs or crawl up and latch onto them if it can?

They can choose the color, pattern and style. Some are asymmetrical, some are plaid and some are plain. It all depends on what the kid wants. And if they wanna change their style, they just hand in the cape and skirt for different ones.

They all have hoods, too, but they're detachable.

When they graduate, I hope to give them all cortosis-weave bodysuits with armor pieces made from Beskar- I talked it over with Torian and Corridan and they're willing to trade the armor in return for the kids learning Mandalorian culture, language and undergoing the coming of age ritual hunt.

It'll be elective…of course…

I have hope the Mandalorians are headed somewhere better in the near future. If everything goes the way it did before- I mean…it might not. But it might. Shae Viszla being in charge will mean a lot of reform. A different way of existence for them. I'm hopeful about it.

"Uhhh, sorry to interrupt," Theron walks into the room with two Mandos flanking him and a kid held between them. "Got something…you need to deal with when you're done." He walks off with the kid being led after him by the two Mandos and I'm a little…

"Is something wrong?" Sana-Rae looks concerned.

I can't let whatever is happening fuck anything up with the Voss. So I smile and shake my head, "we don't really have a disciplinary plan in action yet. Mostly I just let the kids make mistakes and learn from them, but they must've done something…broken something…I dunno, I'll go check." I shrug and smile wistfully. "See you at lunch, I'll help you out if you have any questions."

And then I try not to seem like I'm running after Theron and the two Mandos who seemed to be forced-marching one of my kids to my office.

When I finally get in there, the Mandalorian guards are waiting outside and Theron is inside the room, just leaning against a wall, kind of…existing there. And the Kid is sitting in a seat in front of my desk looking really…eh…not happy.

Not like they're scared or feel contrite. But instead as if they're deeply unpleasantly angry.

"Hey Theron, give me like, five minutes?" I ask with a small smile. "You can come back in right on the dot, I promise."

He pushes off the wall and walks past me with a nod, "be outside if you need me."

Dunno why he thinks I would…? What's going  _on_  here?

So instead of stewing in my confusion, I pull a chair right in front of them and ask. "What happened, hon? I haven't been briefed, so give me the rundown."


	12. Chapter 12

I had no idea why that kid had attacked one of the Mandalorians like that. Seemed…strange, but I didn't know what was happening. Figured Nik could puzzle it out, maybe get the kid to talk.

When she came out of that room three minutes after asking me for five alone with them, she was…different.

Her eyes were dark and crackling with…something. I'm not sure what. She asked me if I knew what happened, and I told her the kid was scratching and biting one of the Mandalorian Hunters and we pulled them off him. Don't know why.

She nodded and said something like 'figured you had no idea' and then walked off with a flick of her wrist. 'Take them to their room and tell them they don't have to come out until everything is settled'.

Which made me…not only suspicious, but also kind of…

I felt this ominous pull in my gut. So I did what she asked, and then I followed the sound of raised voices to its source out on the front lawn.

The kids had all been told to go to bed, I think- because the halls were empty and there were guards at each door. She'd never done that before and it struck me as a warning sign that things were about to turn dark.

I never imagined in what way.

"You can barely use a blaster," Torian's voice is the first one I can hear clearly as I approach. My implants amplify sound when I want them to. Honing on him and his surroundings, I stop and lean against a wall. Tryin' to seem nonchalant.

"I won't need one," Nik's voice. But…different. Cold. "Do you accept my challenge, Hunter?"

"Do you even know what you ask?" an unfamiliar voice. Laughing. Mocking. "The  _Geroya be Haran_  isn't just a challenge to a sparring match, you know."

"The Mandalorian Death Game  _Geroya Be Haran_ ," she recites. "Is a challenge in four parts. The  _alii'jaate_ , personal honors;  _Yai'me'suum_ , the homeworld; the  _Sterebiise_ , who defends a legacy; and the  _Naast_ , who destroys it. Yes. I know what the fucking  _Geroya Be Haran_  is and what it's for. I also know the cost of losing. I seek to take your honor from you, because you do not  _deserve_  it."

"What has he done?" Torian is resolved. He's already decided whatever she's upset over, it's nothing small.

"One of my children recognized him from a raid on their home, not that long ago. I know to Mandalorians, spoils are all fair in war, but I consider  _rape_ to be one of the most abhorrent acts of cruelty in the galaxy. The fact that you traumatized that child by doing it right  _in front of them_  just makes it that much more obvious to me that  _you_   _need to die_. Honorless. Forgotten."

Oh. Shit.

"Not to mention what kinda limp-dicked piece of shit hunter you've gotta be to force a woman to have sex with you cause you know you won't be getting any otherwise. That's a thing with Mandalorians, isn't it? Impressing a significant other with your skill?"

She knows the Mandalorians so well, she knows exactly what to say to get their dander up. Wait. Did she just challenge someone to a duel? A duel to the death!?

"You-"

There's a thump and Torian's voice interjects again. "Challenge has been made. You accept or not?"

Shit, can't let this happen.

I walk out into the open just as the hunter stands from where he apparently got knocked down with Torian's techstaff.

"And what are you puttin' up for me to win off your corpse, eh?" he asks. "The school, the planet, the crystals?"

"If you can kill me without cheating, you can have them. But the kids get shuttled back home, first." She says. "Consider it a show of honor to redeem yourself to me."

"What are you doing?" I don't mean for that to come out quite the way it does. A little frantic. I mean, I've come to the conclusion she's just a well-meaning person who's playing with fire. I don't want her to die just because she's so disillusioned with the Jedi that she refuses to join them and this will not even remotely be a fair fight.

"Don't worry, Theron. Everything will be fine," she says. Not even looking at me.

Her eyes are on  _him_.

"I accept," the hunter sneers. "So where are we doing this?"

"I'll take my personal honors and set them up somewhere far from here. Finding them is part of the challenge, right?" She says. Eyes steady and cold. Snapping like lightning in some way that's hard to describe. "Tomorrow morning when the sun rises, you can follow me. Let's see how long you last."

I try to talk her out of it as she walks with Torian into the Armory- but at that point, she locks me out of the room and doesn't come back out for a few hours.

So I spend my time trying to find a way around this, or some way she can have help in this challenge- something. Gathering Intel from Mandalorians isn't that hard, so long as you phrase it like a chance for them to boast. Or if you're curious about their culture and they're hopeful for a convert.

So with some goading, some curiosity and some feigned admiration, I soon know everything there is to know about this whole death game. And it's not good.

"You are disquieted, Theron," the Grandmaster says. Her first words to me when I walk into the room she and some of the other kids use for meditation.

It seemed so strange to me at first that she let Jedi meditate and Sith…do whatever it was they did to focus their powers before, instead of trying to find a new way. But she always said she didn't wanna destroy the culture of the Sith and Jedi…just the war and the 'child-soldier factory' aspects.

It was a little…strange. How she managed to get so many of these kids to follow her, but after meeting and speaking with a  _lot_  of the first ones she ever brought here…I realized…they wouldn't have made it as Sith  _or_  Jedi.

Too impatient, too empathetic, too soft, too stern. Something about them was inflexible in one way or another and while the Jedi would've tried to give them a home…they likely would've either fallen or been stripped of the Force when it became obvious they eventually would, anyway.

I have no idea how to express the full depth of everything I'm feeling right now, so I just shrug and make a 'psh' noise. "Nik's about to fight a death match with a Mandalorian. Yeah I'd say I'm pretty 'disquieted'."

"She is what?" the Grandmaster stands from her place and turns to face me. "Why? What has transpired?"

But as soon as she takes a step forward, she bends in half and grasps her temples. "Augh!"

"Grandmaster!" I rush to her side and grasp her arm, keeping her upright.

She shakes her head and grits her teeth. "The planet…I cannot…"

"What, what about the planet?" What's going on?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updated this twice today cause I have a backlog of these chapters, the last chapter was a cliffhanger...
> 
> And I completely fucking forgot to write an update for a third story this week.

I was only able to make that challenge because I'd already undergone the Mandalorian rite of passage. I didn't know that at the time, but I'm considered a full adult by Mandalorians and also…a candidate for Adoption.

I know too much of their culture and language. I should've known they'd try to pull me in.

I thought the  _Verd'goten_  was a lot more than just hunting and killing something, but apparently I wasn't seeing the bigger picture of my kill on this planet. That thing, with the steel-like tail tip that tried to eat my kids.

That's the only trophy I have, but I have other things. Just not things that I've won. Things that are precious because I made them, or one of the kids found it and gave it to me. Torian says that counts because items I've made are things I'm proud of, and gifts from children have always been accepted.

Seems so strange. To risk your most precious things when trophies would do instead. But considering the Mandalorian thing about family and honor being intertwined…

I only took one thing from the armory. Grenades. I used the manuals in there to figure out which ones I needed.

Some to bury, some to have in my hands to throw, some to shoot from a grenade launcher.

Torian would've talked me into some guns and armor too, I think. But the look in his eyes was like he  _understood_  me. And why I needed to do it my way.

Thinking about it, it's not hard to understand. His entire clan was either killed or taken captive by the other Mandalorians. Just because he 'regained his honor' and everything doesn't mean there wasn't a period of time when they were no better than slaves. And I've never heard what happened to his mother- or the rest of Clan Cadera, really.

That's  _also_  something I hope Shae changes.

I made sunrise the time when he could start hunting me because I wanted to get a few hours sleep before everything went down.

My mistake was assuming that he'd play honorably and by the rules.

He came upon my camp right at the crack of dawn. Obviously having been searching all night.

He dragged me out by my hair and it wasn't really a stretch to assume what he wanted before he killed me. But I'm nothing if not really good at playing dead.

He expected me to be a wilting weakling, so I flopped and didn't respond when he tried to smack me awake. It gave me the chance to break free and run.

And then my plan went into action, a lot sooner than I'd intended.

I dodged around trees and through underbrush, dancing away from laser fire. Those damn laser guns are always so inaccurate. But his aim was good. So I took a few hits.

"Dunno if you can have anything other than water yet, but when you can, the clan wants to have a party for you." Torian's visiting in the med-center where Sana is healing me. "I think Corridan wants to adopt you, more than before."

"I'm not Mandalorian, and I don't have it in me to be, Torian." It hurts just to talk. Rasping. Ugh. "You guys can be too ruthless for my tastes sometimes and I am not swearing allegiance to whoever wears Mandalore's mantle."

"Figured you'd say that," he says. "Still, be good to celebrate your victory."

"She barely survived," Theron is sulking in the corner. "She shouldn't have done this."

"Shut up or get out," I snap. "You're either defending a rapist or infantilizing  _me_ \- either way I don't like it."

I haven't taken enough painkillers for this.

"Why didn't you ask  _me_  to do this?" He stands and says on his way to the door. "Spy? Hello? I could've killed him without anyone knowing. Or Torian could've challenged him." He stops at the door and seems like he wants to say more, but he leaves.

I guess he took my shut up or get out literally. Either/or. To get the last word in.

"It was your choice, but I would've fought him if I'd known," Torian says. "You don't have to fight alone."

"They're my kids," I reply. "It was my fight."

Torian nods. "Yeah."

I glance over at the other bed and purse my lips. "Grandmaster still unconscious?"

He sighs, "Theron says something made her collapse. Said somethin' about 'the planet'. She didn't get any more out before she went down."

"Looks like Theron and I are going investigating," I groan. "He's gonna be  _impossible_."

Torian chuckles, "can't help you with that."

Sana walks over and shakes her head. "You cannot move from this infirmary for at least another day. There will be no investigating."

I groan harder.

Torian hums, "take him out with me. We'll try to see if we can find the problem without a force user along."

"Don't let him get hurt. I know better than to tell you not to leap into battle but if he gets hurt here-"

"Know the complications that could have," he says. "He's capable. Won't have to watch him as hard as the kids."

I snort, "should hope not."

And after Torian leaves…I'm left with  _hours_  of nothing to do. So instead of doing paperwork, which Sana might lightly pluck from my hands if I were able to even get any- I figure this is a chance to fiddle around with my healing powers.

"That's it," Sana guides me through a meditation technique that's supposed to aid in self-healing but I mostly feel like my insides are pouring out all over the place. "You have the power, now you must find a way to keep it within and turn it toward a healing purpose. Some people see their power as an ocean current. Others visualize a gust of great wind. What shape does yours take?"

"My innards," I say. "I dunno, like some kinda weird blood, plasma…something, inside me."

She hums, "so it is truly a part of you. That is good. Focus on that. How it flows through your limbs…"

Only, when her voice starts to drift away and I start to feel all…float-y and kind of detached, I don't stop because I assume that's how you're supposed to feel when meditating. And that's how I end up not knowing what the hell is going on from one second to the next.

Flashes of light and dark, colors of different kinds- and the sound of someone I know calling for help-

And then I sit straight up in the cot and Sana is there, soothing me with words I can't hear.

Satele is trapped. Somehow. I  _need_  to get to her.


	14. Chapter 14

Theron and Torian already left on an expedition into the caves of the island to look for some kind of technical or artifact disturbance, so they won't really be much help.

"You can do this. You connected to it once unintentionally, now that you are trying, it will be easier." Sana's coaching me.

I'm lying in the same cot as before, only now it's been moved right next to Satele's so that I can feel her presence. Hoping that that makes it easier to…

Where did Sana go?

I'm nowhere and nothing, but also still lying in the med-bay as me.

I experience a curious sensation when I try to sit up and…detach from my body.

Well that's a little panic-inducing- but one glance at the still breathing body of Satele reassures me that this isn't death. She's still alive after all, so I should still be, too. Even if I can't feel…anything.

Sana isn't there anymore, and I can't hear the kids…which is strange. They're always so loud, filled with joy and youthful enthusiasm for everything, their voices echo throughout the whole compound…but not here, for some reason.

Swinging my 'feet' down off the bed, I take slow and measured steps out of the med-bay. Feeling for Satele's presence that was just beside me, but is now elsewhere.

Walking down hallway after hallway, fingertips reaching out to caress the walls and tables as I pass them by. Feeling vases and tapestries that aren't here anymore, but for some reason  _are_.

I eventually find her back in the meditation room, where Theron had said she was when she was afflicted. To be honest I probably should've known to go here first, but…well, when in doubt, you can never go wrong by following a feeling. Or at least, that's how I usually get things done. Dunno how reliable it'd be for other people.

She's kneeling before someone…something. A shifting mass of eyes, teeth, arms, legs and darkness. Like it's constantly taking a new form and shifting out of the old one. You can't tell what it even looks like.

Her kneeling isn't the usual Jedi kneel of humility and respect, though. She's gritting her teeth and clawing at the ground, like she's trying to hold on to something.

"Hey!" My voice is oddly distorted here, but still clearly mine, so it only pauses me for like, a second. "Satele!"

" _Ahhh…_ " a distorted voice whispers from everywhere and nowhere. " _Another for the trial. This one failed. Perhaps you will be victorious instead._ "

"I'm not here for your trial- you snatched up the Jedi and I want her back," I inform whatever the hell it is I'm talking to. "She's under my protection, release her."

" _A vassal, yes…I suppose the trials should be undertaken when approved by the master._ " It whispers.

And then Satele is shoving herself to her feet, staggering around until I can make it to her side- but she disappears before I can touch her. "What- Satele!?"

" _The Vassal has been returned,_ " the voice that is not a voice informs me.

"Uh…thank you. Now, what do you want?" I turn to face the shifting mass. "What trials are you talking about?"

" _The trials of the O'dessa,_ " it explains. " _You are of age, beyond the age, when you must take your trials. Why have you not sought the path?_ "

It pronounces that word like… Oh de-sah. With a slight…strange accent on the last syllable. It sounds utterly foreign. I don't think it's even speaking galactic common or English or whatever. I think I'm just understanding it somehow.

"The people of Odessen died or left, a long time ago," I explain to what I'm assuming is some weird force spirit. "We are the new inhabitants. We didn't know the old ways. So we couldn't seek what we didn't know of."

There is a pause, as if the spirit doesn't know what to do with that. " _So the O'dessa are gone as well._ "

"Are the O'dessa the people of Odessen or…something else?" I ask.

There is a ripple in the air around me that I interpret as amusement.

" _A curious mind. Cautious but bold. How interesting that Odessen would choose one such as you to lead it._ "

I figure arguing semantics is kinda pointless here, so I let that 'choosing me' thing go. "Uh…well, I'm mostly just a teacher."

" _ **Yes,**_ " it booms. Startling me a little. " _O'dessa are the guides and the protectors. Leaders and healers. Teachers of all. You are suitable. You may learn._ "

"I may learn…what, exactly?" I'm not about to get filled full of some kind of forbidden knowledge or something, am I? Usually I would leap at the chance but like, force ghosts and the like…who knows if it wouldn't break my mind trying to stuff too much in there?

" _The way of the O'dessa._ " It whispers. Fervently, lovingly.

"Uh… well I wouldn't be opposed, but we'd have to reach some kind of arrangement. I have to be up and around during the day for my students and other things, and I have to be able to sleep at night to be well-rested. If you'd be able to let me come and go whenever I have a free moment-"

" _Time slips around this place. You will find an hour a night in your sleep to be sufficient. It will be as if a day has passed and you will learn quickly._ " It says.

Wow, that's…okay. "Just don't…grab anyone else, alright? Let me instruct my children in the ways you teach me and when it's time for their trial, I will teach them to seek you out." If I deem it's safe, anyway.

" _Yes,_ _ **yes,**_ _as it is, as it should be._ " It sounds so excited. I know I should probably be unnerved, but it's…actually kinda cute. " _The O'dessa will be reborn anew!_ "

And that's about the point when I wake up and nearly smack my forehead into Satele's who was apparently trying to wake me by shaking my shoulders and saying my name.

"Oh! Hey." I cough and rub my eyes. "How long was I out?"

"A few hours," Sana says, shocking the fuck out of me.

' _Time slips around this place._ ' So it didn't just mean in one particular way, then.

"What happened?" Satele asks. "I woke hours ago and we have been trying increasingly more disruptive ways to wake you when meditation and healing techniques did not work."

I blink at her. "Sorry, why? What's going on?"

Satele sighs, "the Empire has found us."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I couldn't update Rewritten yet this week so I figured I'd just update three other stories but then I remembered, I left ANO on kind of a cliffhanger so I had to also update this.
> 
> But my computer keeps crashing so I had to do it on monday instead of sunday. Ugh.

"As I understand it, you have been poaching Acolytes," Marr says. Very calmly for a Sith Lord who's obviously angry with me. "I would like to know, to what end."

"The weak die at the Academy, that's a well-understood fact," I reply. "As you see it, those who aren't cruel to a certain degree or those who haven't mastered the force to a level that could be considered above par by the time their trials end are better off dead so they don't drag down the Empire. So why do you mind that I take them?"

He inclines his head, "I will grant that those Acolytes who fled with you would likely have died. But they would have died as Sith. They are ours." He speaks very deliberately.

"I know the Sith believe differently, but people aren't owned," I speak back very deliberately. "Children are never given the chance to choose. I give them that chance. Some of them might want to be Jedi. Might want to be Sith. Might want to be neither. I give them the option."

His head tilts as he considers this. "You would give us fully trained Acolytes who have chosen to become Sith? No matter where they originate?"

"If that is their choice, then yes," I reply. "Whether I agree or not, I will not allow anyone to impede the personal freedoms of my students. I will even make the same agreement with you that I made with the Jedi. You may send Sith Acolytes to my academy to learn the things I can teach them- and they may return to be Sith once again if that is their wish. But there will be rules, codes of conduct- and if I do not consider them graduated because they refuse to control themselves, they get no graduation crystal."

He shifts his weight. "Crystal? A lightsaber crystal upon graduation?"

"I have access to attuning crystals, yes. And you and the Jedi will both have to play nice for them. Because I can pull the switch and destroy them- or make them functionally useless anyway, any time I like." I'm bluffing, but now that I've said it, that'd be a great fail-safe measure to have.

"You would destroy such priceless treasures?" he asks.

"To keep the children safe, anything," I reply. "And just as an aside, I can promise you two spots in my school for one Sith and one member of the Empire, each. I chose who got to come inside when it pertained to the Republic and Jedi, so I would like to do the same with the Empire, as well. It's subject to change, of course- they can't stay here forever, after all."

As much as I'd like them to.

"This agreement would make your planet neutral ground. A place where Sith and Jedi would learn together," he says. "The very idea of it makes my teeth grind. But if you will agree to send us the acolytes who wish to become Sith and give your attuning crystals to those of us you find worthy, I cannot see any reason to refuse."

This is…honestly going a little too well right now, I'm unprepared. "I was expecting more resistance. But then I hear you're the most rational and self-controlled Sith Lord on the Dark Council. I should've expected you to be so pragmatic."

"Indeed," he responds. "If you are in need of information, dossiers of potentials for the representatives, we can have the files sent to you."

"No need, I've done my research. I intended to reach out to the Sith at some point anyway," I say.

' _If only to hamstring you with red tape and further cement my spot here- and somehow use the Treaty of Coruscant and your stalemate with the Republic and Jedi to my advantage._ '

"Tell me their names, then, and they will be brought to you," he says.

And he seems…respectful? Maybe pleasantly surprised at the fact that I'm so ready for this? I dunno. It's hard to tell. This guys' inscrutable in real life.

"Lana Beniko. I've heard good things about her. That she's like you. Rational. Cool-headed. And Vector Hyllus. A Diplomatic agent on Alderaan recently joined to a Killik Hive. I think they would be absolutely perfect." Just thinking about getting to meet Vector and Lana has me excited, but I try to keep myself calm. After all, they might not be able to be pulled away from their current jobs. "Though if they are needed elsewhere, I can also come up with some alternates."

"Lana Beniko I have heard of as well," he says. "She is not currently engaged in anything that could not be put on hold, I am certain. This…Vector Hyllus, I will need to look into."

"Of course. Take your time," I offer politely.

"I will be in contact when I have the delegates prepped for their journey," he says. And then suddenly signs off.

Which is about the time my knees finally turn to jelly and I drop to the floor.

"Whoa!" Theron is there in like a heartbeat.

He and Satele had to be observers, that was one of my conditions. I didn't want to show favoritism either way, and I wanted everything to be open.

"Alright?" He seems genuinely concerned, and I feel bad for worrying him.

Even if he is here to spy on me, he's still  _Theron_. He can't help caring about people. "Fine. That was just. Stressful as hell. Especially after I'd just spent hours in a ghost-state, apparently."

"Was everything you told him, true?" Satele asks. "Did you always intend to contact the Sith?"

" _And_ the Jedi. And the Voss Mystics," I reply. "I had to get so many worlds and types of force users involved that to attack me was to attack them. To make it safer for the kids."

Theron makes a small huffing noise and when I look up, he seems amused. Maybe a little impressed. "That was really…sneaky. And clever."

"I used to want to be an agent," I say. "Not SIS or Imperial Intelligence, necessarily. Just a Rogue, wandering around, helping people and doing spy stuff. I was like nine, but still."

He coughs, trying to cover a laugh and helps me to my feet. "Well I think that definitely would've suited you, if you'd had training."

I sigh wistfully. "I'll probably just have to settle for 'dashing headmistress who kicks ass'."

He nearly chokes that time.


	16. Chapter 16

The Order of Revan has arrived. Thank god.

Now I can keep a close eye on them and I don't have to worry about them running off and doing god knows what, god knows where.

"We thank you for this opportunity," the representative says. "Many of our number have decided to stay in Republic and Imperial Space, to further bridge the gap between the two as best they can. But a good number of us, decided to travel here. They will arrive in groups and arrive days, weeks and perhaps months apart from each other."

She's a tall, statuesque Mirialan with olive green skin and beautiful tattoos scattered across her cheeks like tiny freckles. Her hair is long and styled into locs with many little charms clipped here and there.

"Smart move, probably." I smile. "Well, like I said when we talked on the holo, I have a whole quadrant with its own abandoned temple for you to occupy. I had the grounds and temple cleaned up as much as I could and checked it over for any hidden traps or surprises. If you encounter anything, get out immediately and contact Torian Cadera or Theron Shan immediately. They can arrange for someone to do another sweep and dismantle anything you find."

She bows her head. "You are too generous, Headmistress. When do our lessons begin?"

My mind blanks for a second. "You want to take courses?"

She seems surprised at my surprise. "Is that not why you invited us?"

"I invited you to give you a safe place to go, but I would be honored to also help you learn the ways of the  _O'dessa_  as soon as my own training is over. As well as the usual courses in self-control and emotional balance." I mean, it's not like I'm not equipped to just, speeder over and…

Except I can't drive a Speeder. I could ask Theron to drive me over, I guess. Or Torian.

"I have not heard of the  _O'dessa_ ," she says slowly. Wrapping her tongue around the strange syllables with ease.

"I'll let you know if it's something you might want to learn, just as soon as my own training is done. I found an old force spirit here who wants to teach me and I've only had one lesson so far." I smile a little helplessly and shrug.

Last night I was treated to a bunch of riddles. They got more and more complex as time went on, and a feeling of foreboding came over me that ramped up the more riddles I solved. Eventually it ended with my new teacher applauding my cool head under pressure.

Honestly I'm just so used to ignoring my own anxiety-induced paranoia that I hardly noticed it till it was gone.

"A spirit?" Her eyes go wide. "How exciting!"

"Isn't it, though?" I can't contain the huge grin that splits my face. "They're apparently the spirit of some kind of ancestor or something of the people who used to live and train here. Force users, but not Jedi or Sith."

"How intriguing," she muses with a much smaller smile. "It would be worth learning just for curiosity's sake, I think."

My holocomm makes that noise that means someone is calling me so I make the universal signal for 'sorry, gotta take this' and receive a smile and a wave of her hand in return.

Backing up out of range of the Revanites, I pull my comm from its hip-holster- still a little confused as to why I can't have one that just stays clipped to my face like a headset or something without getting into implant territory…

"Nik, here." I say before the image can even consolidate itself.

And I'm glad I did, because I wasn't expecting him to call me and if I'd been taken utterly by surprise before answering I might have just stood there with my mouth agape.

"Headmistress," Vector greets me with a slight bow of his head. "We wished to discuss something with you at your earliest convenience. If you would not mind."

"Uh…sure. I mean, I'll be right over. Are the Killiks settled in, should I bring anything?" I might be slightly over-solicitous. My nervousness around him is due to my attraction to him but he might not pick up on that. I don't want to make him feel unwelcome.

I think I see a slight curve to the little image of Vector's mouth but I could be mistaken. "We are well, Headmistress. But we would prefer to speak of the issue in private."

"Uh sure, I'll be right over. I'll have to bring someone though, I can't…uh…I can't really drive a speeder," I say. Blushing up to my hairline. Hopefully the holo doesn't translate that into the little blue images.

He nods, "that is acceptable. We will see you when you arrive."

I say a very mumbly and nervous goodbye and then I'm faced with the very perilous choice of taking either Torian or Theron- both of which would likely pick up on the reason for my weirdness and then tease me about it-

Or I could ask Satele. The Jedi who basically ignores all sarcasm and witty rejoinders. Yes! That's an excellent idea!

At least…I thought it was, before now.

"I really don't wanna talk about this," I hide my burning face in my hands as I walk over to the speeder we took to get here.

It's an area of Odessen that's a bit more arid than everywhere else. Not quite so wet or leafy- but packed with minerals and nutrients for a different kind of growth, which the Killiks would be overseeing personally.

I just got out of an incredibly awkward meeting in which Vector was charmingly oblivious and overly polite like he is when you first meet him on Alderaan as the Imperial Agent- and I was kind of a stuttering, flushed mess.

And now Satele wants to warn me about the dangers of attachment.

"That is quite apparent, but if you'd only let me-"

"I'm not taking life advice from you about attachments, Satele!" I snap and then climb up into the passenger seat of the speeder. "Especially not when I just react this way to anyone even slightly attractive. It's not a big deal, let it go."

She seems to sense that I'm basically at my wit's end.

When she climbs in, starts the speeder and drives us off- I think maybe that'll be the end of it.

I'm horribly wrong.

"What about Theron?" she asks.

I slump into my seat and let my head droop back over the shoulder, next to the head rest. "What  _about_  Theron?"

"You always seem…very happy to see him. But you do not act the way you did with the Imperial diplomat." She says.

"Ohhhh  _gooodddddd_." I groan in abject misery. "Just let it end!"

"Is Theron not attractive enough to make you react in such a way?" she asks.

And when I look, I can see no mirth on her face, but I just get this  _sense_  like she's messing with me.

"You're so mean," I complain.

"It's a simple question," she says.

"Theron's probably the most beautiful man I've ever met," I reply. Deadpan. "But he's…familiar. Friendly. Open. It's the polite, inscrutable, elegant types that I can't handle."

She looks aside at me for a moment before returning her attention forward. "You have feelings for him."

"You don't have to warn me away, Grandmaster, it's not happening." I flick my wrist. "Especially as I couldn't tell either way whether or not he or the Imperial representatives were out to seduce me for an agenda or not."

Satele hums. "You believe Theron is the type to do that?"

"I believe the Republic is the type to order it and Theron's the type to be loyal, no matter how distasteful he might find it." Well that's kind of simplifying it. "If he felt it was morally wrong, he wouldn't. But I have no way of knowing if he does. To him it might seem a necessary evil to defend the Republic. How would I know? And besides that, he's not interested in me anyway. I would've been able to tell by now if he were."

I've romanced Theron. I know what Theron-in-like and Theron-in-love looks like.

"Sometimes it takes longer for an attraction to develop. It certainly did for me," she says.

And I look at her with wide eyes, because I do  _not_  wanna hear the details of her and Theron's father's romance. Theron should be the first person to hear about that and even  _he_ 'd probably run away screaming.

"This is part of my training, is it not?" she asks. "To become more emotive and share more of myself?"

"You're using my own training against me. I hate this," I say and curl into a ball. "Look, Theron is great. And I'm loving that you're being so open- but if it's going to be with anyone, it should be him. He's your son. Treat him like it and don't open up to random strangers before you do him."

She actually raises an eyebrow at me which is more expression than I usually get. "What makes you think I have not already had this conversation with Theron?"

My eyes seem to want to escape their sockets the way they're bulging out of them. " _Satele_!"

"What ever is the matter?" she asks.

"I was mostly joking before now, but Satele that's a total invasion of privacy and boundaries!" I feel my brow furrow and try to stamp down on the hot flame of indignation in my gut. I have to feel it- that doesn't mean I have to let it overwhelm me. "Oh god, did you say something about me to him or were you just finger-wagging in general?"

She frowns at me, very subtly. "Theron shows bias toward you. I wanted to know why."

" _Bias_?" I ask, incredulous. "How the hell is that even remotely true? He's just _nice_  to me!"

"Indeed," she responds.

And the rest of the ride is spent in uncomfortable silence while I try to figure out what the hell she means by that.


	17. Chapter 17

"Headmistress," Zenith walks into my office with little ceremony.

I glance up from the reports I was looking over and take the piece of toast out of my mouth that I'd grabbed for in-between breakfast and lunch to keep my stomach from growling.

"What's up, Zen?" I don't know if he minds me calling him that, but he's never commented on it.

"I located and liberated the woman you sent me to find," he says. "She is waiting at the entrance. I couldn't remove her collar before we left, though."

While he was here, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask if he'd mind freeing some people from their…less than wonderful circumstances here and there throughout the galaxy. To my great surprise, he said yes. I guess he was getting bored just sitting around watching the kids.

"I'll get someone on it," I say as I drop my datapad and get up from my seat. "Call Theron for me?"

He holds out a hand to stop me when I move to walk past him. "We also made contact with some other students who wanted to leave Korriban with us and in the process of extracting them, the shuttles and ship took a beating."

"Is there anyone who requires healing?" I ask worriedly.

"A few need some stitches, but I took care of it. We really need an actual doctor here, you know." He says, so plainly.

I sigh, loudly. "I know. I was just hoping to find someone…whatever. I'll put a call out and see if I can get the only prospect I know of that would work for us."

Of all the doctor-type companions there are- the ones who know field trauma dressing and who set up shop in the med bays on your many ships in the game…

There's Elara Dorne who'd never leave the Republic. Malavai Quinn who's the same but with the Empire.

Mako, who I don't even really know how to find. She's probably not doing the same thing without the whole…whatever. I've looked and I can't find her on my own.

My most likely option and the one I would know where he was and would be able to do him a favor in order to get him predisposed to liking and working for me…

Is Doc.

And I like Doc, but…I really don't want all the turmoil he'd end up bringing here. Dating and dashing and all that.

I believe it's not his fault that the women he tells very honestly he likes them and thinks they're beautiful- think it means more than it does. I mean, after all, he talks about his former relationships and how much he can't imagine being married like, all the time. He's just really honest about how attracted he is to you, and he has a natural need to be liked which leads to copious compliments.

But I don't know which of the women here would be a good match for him with his casual dating thing- I mean. Other than the Mandos, but if one of  _those_  ladies gets attached and gets angry that he's bowing out...

"You're grimacing, really hard," Zenith informs me. Reminding me that he's even in the room with me.

"I know the guy we should get and hey, this is your ticket back to Balmorra." I smile. "He's working there in a resistance hospital. If you can convince him to work here, I can see about sending some Mandalorians to help the Rebels with combat instruction."

Would've done it before now, but they didn't trust me yet. This way it looks like I'm using a bargaining chip and they might respect me for it.

Also might hate me for it, but oh well.

He narrows his eyes, "we need all the doctors we can get down there."

"Yes, you absolutely do." I agree. "But until I can contact this man and get  _his_  recommendation on some replacements to stand in for him…he's the only lead I've got."

"If you just need to talk to him, I can find him." He nods and claps a fist to his chest in a quick gesture that I don't recognize. "I'll take him your frequency, if you can send a Mando to the base camp."

"No problem. It's a war down there, they'll probably fight over who gets to go," I say. "They'll have to stick to instruction as far as I know, though, the Mandalorians being allied to the Empire and everything…but well. They don't have to go  _as_  Mandalorians."

"Who doesn't have to be Mandalorian?" Lana appears in the doorway and demands my attention.

"I'm sending someone to contact a doctor in a warzone," I say smoothly. "They might encounter Imperial resistance, so I thought it best to avoid an incident between the Mandalorians and the Empire by sending them in disguise."

I think Lana's still surprised every time I'm transparent about my moves and motives, but she hardly shows it now. She got here just yesterday and she's already fallen into step and even begun to tighten up security and efficiency in scheduling has gone up.

She's  _really_  organized.

"You could simply request a diplomatic ceasefire where it concerns your…agent?" she looks at Zenith questioningly.

"Agent on Loan," he replies. "And no offense but the Imps on Balmorra would gun right for us if we let them know we were contacting a Resistance doctor."

"I have allies on all worlds on all sides of the war," I say to her questioning look. "How else do you stay truly neutral in a time of war and contention like this?"

She nods after a moment, "I suppose. Though I would prefer you also contact Imperial doctors. If you are favoring one alliance over all the others, it will look bad. And as I know you will contact someone from the Republic to off-set them, perhaps also contact a doctor from an Empire aligned world such as Csilla."

She just very smoothly arranged a way for two more imperials to be instated on the planet while also making it look like she's just trying to be fair.

"The only ones I'd even remotely consider, would refuse to be pulled away from their respective posts in the Empire and Republic. I will eventually find others, but for now this guy is my only lead on a doctor I  _know_  I could either get, or get recommendations from. Either way…" I shrug.

"You don't refuse a new post in the Imperial military," she replies. Scrunching her nose a little. "Even Sith must obey orders from higher-ranking Sith."

"It goes against my beliefs to do anything against anyone's will." I hate that that's a thing I have to explain and have justifications for. "So they'd have to be able to decline and I know that no matter what you say, this is a big deal- this alliance thing, this neutral thing-" I wave around us with a hand. "Your people would pressure or threaten him, and without even needing to say or do much at all."

"I suppose…I could accommodate your request," she says. "Personally, I mean. I could find the recruits you wish to join you and ask them if they would prefer to stay at their posts or join me on Odessen. I am Sith but I am a rather low-ranking one, and not well-known. I could simply present myself as an Imperial Agent with Intelligence."

"Well that's…generous of you to offer," I say, slowly. "But I don't know you well enough to know whether you'd mind-trick or torture them when you thought I couldn't see you. Maybe in a few weeks."

She nods, sorta half-bowing. So weird to get used to that. "Of course. That you would consider it at all is a great show of trust and I appreciate it."

She leaves then, with a small smile and I know I just gave her exactly what she wanted.

But well, she gave me what  _I_  wanted, too, so.

"They desperately want more Imperials in here," I mutter as the door closes and I'm sure she's far enough away.

Zenith nods and crosses his arms. "Going to accommodate them?"

"In the loosest sense possible," I reply. "I do want everyone to be equal here, but I won't put my people in danger by surrounding them with possible traitors or collaborators or something."

"That girl's still waiting to get her collar off," Zenith reminds me.

I jolt and start for the door. "Right!"

Time to meet Vette!


	18. Theron POV

It's taken me two days to open this thing so far.

Not that it's locked or stuck or anything. I just…can't bring myself to do it.

Part of me wants to put it back before she realizes it's gone because this is a total invasion of privacy. But another part says I want to know what Nik was talking about when she said it would answer a question I'd had for a long time.

I've had lots of questions about my mother. Why did she give me up, why didn't she send for me when I was older, things like that.

But Nik seemed to think it was a really important question. And that this is a really important answer. So whatever it is, I…want to know.

It was weird when she suggested breaking into the grandmaster's room. At first I was pretty sure she was trying to pit me against my own mother. But it made no sense. The Grandmaster and I aren't close to begin with. She could've done more with less on my account.

And then she took her with her on an errand over to the Killik side of the planet and I figured…I wouldn't get a better opportunity than this, so I walked in, grabbed what I wanted and left. It took some searching, I mean- she didn't just keep it out in the open.

But I left everything like it was.

Flicking the locket back and forth between my fingers, caressing the latch that would open it…I think about all the questions I haven't had answered over the years and I decide…

That this is too important to let go.

So I move in one quick, fluid motion. Flicking my wrist and unhooking the clasp.

It reveals itself to be a holoprojecting locket. A keepsake.

And when the image finally reveals itself in full clarity, I almost drop it.

That. Is  _me_.

Gangly, teenage me. In a jacket a size or two too big for me.

My heart and stomach both do this really annoying thing where they jump, flip and twist all at the same time. And I know if I could just…get through this weird cloud of  _feelings_  that's just popped up in my brain, I could figure out what this means, or why it matters…but I.

I  _can't_.

But there is someone who could explain it all to me if I asked. Someone who keeps informing me of my own emotional state constantly and is usually always right. And…normally only has to do that because I'm not so great at self-care…

_(Theron you're hungry, that's why you're cranky. You haven't eaten since breakfast and that was just toast. Take an early dinner, we'll survive an hour without you.)_

I could've sworn I'd eaten that morning, but realizing a piece of bread with butter on it can only hold you so long was like…a revelation to my food-deprived brain at the time.

And then there was the time she figured out I was bothered by all the Imperial memorabilia all over the place and decided to keep that stuff in the Kids' areas and out of the commons. She even moved the Republic stuff, I guess to seem fair.

Torian did seem more relaxed that day, so maybe she just realized it was a problem for everybody and not just me.

It's hard to feel safe when you're surrounded by emblems of the enemy.

The scariest part of being here is…I've started to see them that way less and less.

Lana is new, but Torian, the other pseudo-Imperials who are just kinda…in the wrong place, loyal to the wrong people?

I like them. And that terrifies me.

Thinking about that is just making everything worse, so I shove that particular emotional quagmire somewhere deeper in my brain and leave my room.

It doesn't take me more than a few minutes to confirm the Grandmaster's location, return the locket and then walk down the Headmistress's personal hall to Nik's room.

She's flanked by Evocii and Twi'lek settlers on all sides, since we didn't really have room for them anywhere else. We're still setting up the camps and temporary shelters that people will need to use until we get actual houses built around here.

Lana was horrified that she let commoners so close to her sleeping quarters, it was hilarious. Mostly because Lana'd obviously expected some kind of place of honor and instead all us diplomats and Jedi and Sith are being put in rooms wherever we might fit.

And now I'm here, at her door, and I don't know what I'll even say.

'I can't figure out my own emotions and you seem good at that kinda thing?' or maybe 'Hey, so you sent me on a scavenger hunt for answers and all I've got are more questions, got any advice for  _that_  problem?'

I sigh and shake my head, lifting a hand to press my fingers into the pressure points around my nose and forehead to relieve the headache that's starting up there.

If Nik were less of an enigma, it'd be…easier, to let myself just…be here and enjoy this. A place that's built on the hatred she feels toward people who use those who are smaller and younger and more easily manipulated than they are.

She's so kind and sweet but she has this core of solid  _steel_  and sometimes I'll see her discussing murdering people with Torian like it's the most casual subject in the world- then a few minutes later she'll be talking to Sana about pacifistic responses to oppression and when pacifism should end and rebellion should begin.

And then she'll teach a class and instead of talking about the merits of murder, rebellion or anything else I've heard her say, she'll encourage them to do their own research and learn things at their own pace, come to their own conclusions.

It's like she doesn't care if they believe what she does, just so long as they're fully informed and in control of themselves and I don't know what to make of or think  _about_  that.

I guess she just seems to be whatever everyone needs her to be, but especially whoever that one person she's talking to  _wants_  her to be and…

My gut says it's not malicious. She just wants everyone to get along and wants to understand everyone here, so she makes the effort to talk to them on their level from their side of things. Even Diplomats can't completely do that in the way that she does. Like she sees equal merit in all of them.

Don't get me wrong, she hates the idea of Sith or Human Supremacy and she isn't urging anyone to be all kum-bah-yah with them either. She's just…really good at recognizing all the good parts of something and keeping them close to her heart while throwing out all the awful stuff.

And now I'm outside her door and I don't even know what to say.

'You're the most confusing yet alluring person I've ever met and I'm afraid to like you in case you let me down'? Because that's really how it kinda feels…

I shouldn't be here, I can't do this.


	19. Chapter 19

"Theron?" I yawn and stare at his now very rigid back. "Are you okay?"

I felt this energy, like a ball of sunlight and I had to get up to investigate.

Apparently now that I've been taught to sense the force, this is just what Theron is gonna feel like from now on.

He turns halfway back to look at me, kind of surreptitious and clears his throat. "You're uh, you're up."

And I would normally be suspicious but I recognize the emotional tone in his voice. Or more accurate to say is that I recognize it when he's trying to shove all his emotions back so he can function. It's that same way he sounds when he's talking about something in Kotfe or Kotet- like when he was angry with his father for siding against him or when his father died on the throne and he was torn up inside in every direction.

Theron's hurting…

And he came…to  _me_?

"Theron, if you want to talk, I'm up now anyway…so you're not bothering me." I'm assuming he was turning to leave after deliberating for so long because it's so late.

He does one of those incredulous little huffs and turns fully to face me. "You are literally only a degree off and you're half-asleep…"

I smile foggily, "I might not be as much help as usual, but I can try."

"How did you know I was out here?" he asks.

I shrug and roll my eyes, "weird force shit is weird."

"The force woke you up, pulled you out of bed and made you open the door?" he's quirking a brow and sounds much more normal now.

If he needs a moment to gather himself by poking fun at me, that's fine.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," I reply. "Do you know you feel like sunshine?"

Does everyone all the time? Am I gonna have to turn that off? Cause wow.

Theron stares at me for a moment before taking a step forward.

I'm a little slow to stumble back, but I don't really get to take a step anyway.

It happens fast, and doesn't last that long, but I'm swept up in one movement, kissed in the next and then set back down on my feet while Theron walks past me like his life depends on it.

Well.

Now I'm standing very still in my own doorway staring after him as he walks over and sits on my sofa, determinedly not looking at me.

Oh my god. Theron  _likes_  me.

I think my heart just fell into my stomach and my stomach just flopped out on the floor.

This isn't how Theron acts when he's trying to be smooth and get answers, this is awkward 'I really like you' Theron.

Oh crap.

I mean, my emotional balance is tipping toward elation and all, but my anxiety over not having seen this coming is also rising.

Walking into my room and letting the door automatically close behind me, we kind of just, exist. Awkwardly in my room.

Theron staring at the floor, looking kind of flushed and uncomfortable while I stand over here, staring at him.

That's probably bad, I shouldn't do that. But I think I'm allowed a little bit of shock. It's the middle of the night and that came out of basically nowhere.

"So what's wrong?" I ask while walking over to sit on the opposite end of the couch. I don't know why he's acting so weird but if he's only comfortable with reaching out to me, I can respect that. When he's obviously so upset about something, it's only wise to let him make all the moves.

"I." His voice seems to just, dry up. He gestures helplessly with his hands.

"You're having a lot of feelings," I observe. "And you don't feel like you can articulate them."

He does this little half-laugh that sounds kinda self-deprecating. And then he mimes opening something small and round-

"Oh! You found it, then." I feel kind of terrible.

I was hoping this would make him feel  _good_ , but I guess I should've expected that to still be kinda complicated.

He nods and there's a pause as I wait for him to get his thoughts together.

When he finally gets it out, it's kinda through gritted teeth. Not like he's angry, but he is trying to hold back some kind of emotional response.

"I…don't understand what it means. I can't…" He gestures helplessly again.

"Okay…do you need me to help you sort through your emotional tangle?" I ask.

He does that weird little laugh again though it's basically no more than a huff this time and nods again.

"You know it's fine to get overwhelmed, sometimes, right?" I move closer and turn to face him, one leg up on the sofa, the other planted on the floor. I can never sit right in a damn chair and I guess sofas either now. "Having emotional response control doesn't mean your emotions are controlled. Sometimes it's too much and you need time and distance to figure yourself out. It doesn't mean you'll never get it or anything. But I guess you're impatient?"

He shrugs.

"Well I wanted it to answer the question of whether or not she loved you," I say.

He turns his head to look at me but I can't read anything in his eyes.

"Not like 'of course your mother loves you' because we both know that isn't always the case. All mothers aren't always like that. But yours  _does_. She's kept that locket for a long time, staring at your face, wondering what she could've done differently."

"So why didn't she," he says it more than asks. "If I was so important to her, why did she leave me? Why not find me later when she regretted it? It makes no sense to me."

"You haven't been fully brainwashed by the Jedi for your whole life, Theron," I say. "You were trained, but being surrounded by them all day all week, all the time…and your mother has a sense of responsibility that rivals yours. To her, it seemed only good and just that she not raise you. To her it seemed horrifying that she was willing to kill to protect you."

He shakes his head, "it's…that doesn't make any sense. The Jedi kill all the time. To protect everyone. Why was I different?"

"Because she loves you," I reply. "Jedi are taught that those vengeful, angry feelings we get when someone threatens someone we consider our own, are bad."

He's struggling with that.

"And it's complete and utter bullshit, right?" I tilt my head.

He looks at me with such a complicated expression, it breaks my heart for him.

"They're hypocrites, is the problem." I say, gently. "If the Jedi were just like, an order of monks living in seclusion, I'd probably have no problem with them. It'd just be a culture, a way of life. They could live however they chose and let people leave if they didn't want to live that way. But instead…"

"Instead?" he prompts.

I sigh and slump against the sofa's back, to my left. "Instead, they set themselves up as saviors of the galaxy, the 'right' way to learn force disciplines- and disparage all others as 'of the dark side'. They're the most privileged group of people in the galaxy aside from the Sith. Even military leaders and politicians have limits to their power but…" I shrug. "When a Jedi can control your mind and does so casually whenever they feel it necessary…they can get away with a lot more."

"So…what, if my mother-." He stops and breathes. "If the Jedi allowed my mother to- to feel those things. Wouldn't she fall to the dark side? Isn't that what she left me for? So she'd be safe?"

"It's a false fear, Theron," I say. "Killing someone who might threaten your family is only natural and right. Killing those who harm others, is also natural and right. People talk about evolving past the need for murder but what other alternative is there? Making them go to prison so they can toil for the rest of their lives? I mean sure, paying back their debt to society but what about human supremacy? How do you know the people in prison actually deserve to be there?"

"Giving a death sentence to every criminal won't fix the problem," he says.

"I didn't say every criminal," I reply. "In my opinion there's only a few things that you can't come back from. Rape, serial murder and pedophilia." I hold up my three fingers and wiggle them. "That's the lowest and most despicable kind of person. Everyone else? Can be rehabilitated."

Theron stares at me with furrowed brows and a tight mouth but he's listening to me. Not interrupting. "What about terrorists?"

"That still falls under Serial Murder and I'd be careful who you label a terrorist," I say. "Vette, you met her yesterday, right?"

He nods.

"She's part of a movement that reclaims old Twi'lek artifacts and frees slaves from all over the galaxy. Lots of people on the wrong side would call them Terrorists and they exist on both sides of your little war."

He looks down at the floor and fidgets with his gloves. "So my mother was afraid of loving me due to a fear of becoming evil, but there's no danger of becoming evil. That makes no sense. Jedi fall  _all_  the time."

"Of course they do," I say with a little smile. It's twisted and more of a grimace but. Still. "Theron the Jedi and the Sith have  _both_  built up this little narrative to their own benefit. The 'Fallen' Jedi serve as a sort of fearmongery warning to those who've not yet 'fallen'- it makes them more pliable, more obedient. And the Sith? They get the benefit of having Jedi fall to the dark side and be satisfied in their supremacy."

"But if…if it doesn't exist, then how do they fall?" he asks.

"Simple answer is, they don't." I respond. "See, 'falling' is just a word for a good person- or who you thought was a good person- suddenly becoming evil. But it's never as sudden as it seems. It's a slow process, corruption. And it doesn't come from the dark side. The dark side is a  _product_  of it."

His forearms sit on his thighs and his head is hanging down low. I don't know what he's feeling. I really hope I haven't made it worse.

"That's how Jedi sense Sith," he mutters to himself. "They start feeling dark."

"Right." I nod. "And the Sith sense Jedi because they feel 'light'."

"I don't know why that never occurred to me before," he says. Lifting his head and looking very analytical. "The Sith don't…absorb the darkness, they give it off. They…create it."

"You are accepting this awfully easily," I say. Surprised as hell, really.

He turns his head to look at me and pierces me with a firm stare. "It makes sense. Perfect sense, actually. It's…it's like I can't even remember why I thought it worked the other way to begin with."

Oh. Oh  _crap_.


	20. Theron POV

She's staring at me, looking kind of horrified and I don't know why.

I mean, I did just agree with her. And to be honest, only about a really small detail in the grand scheme of things. So why does she look so shocked?

"Does your head hurt?" she asks. Maybe a little frantic, inching closer over the couch. "Do you feel fuzzy at all, are you-"

And when I realize that she thinks she just accidentally mind-tricked me, I can't help myself.

I burst out laughing.

"Theron!" she sounds so  _distressed_ , I can't help but laugh harder when I glance up at her and see her poor little face scrunched up in fear. "This isn't funny!"

I lift a hand, so she'll stop talking and try to stop laughing but it takes a while.

Eventually, I sit up, wiping some tears out of the corners of my eyes and clear my throat a few times before looking over at her and almost dissolving into giggles again at the pouty and yet vaguely concerned look on her face.

"I'm fine," I say. And then cough to clear my throat  _again_. "You didn't do what you think you did, I promise. That's not how it works. You've gotta…you've gotta know  _how_  to start with."

"Are you absolutely sure?" she asks. Arms crossed over her chest like she's holding herself together.

And it hits me all of a sudden that this is a lot more important to her than I first thought. I mean, at first I thought maybe she was a little mortified. When people think they've accidentally done something they didn't mean to, they usually get embarrassed.

To Jedi, mind-tricks…they're nothing. They just do it, it's regular. Normal. To Sith, mind domination is…also nothing. They're downright gleeful about it.

But what I'm seeing in Nik's eyes is stark terror and self-recrimination.

I don't understand it, but I want to.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I reach out and grasp one of her hands, tugging lightly until she unfolds it from the tense position she had it in and move closer to her. "Does just the thought of that kind of thing…bother you for a reason or is it just…the whole, not being in control of it part that scares you?"

She sighs and stares at the hand I've got clasped in both of mine. "Theron, why aren't  _you_  bothered by it? It's a literal invasion of your mind. Your most sacred place where you're always alone and Jedi can just reach in and reprogram you at their leisure. That doesn't bother you?"

Well when she puts it like that, of course it does. "Guess it just always seemed…better than the alternative."

"What, cutting people in half with a laser sword?" she says. Giving me a look. "They're supposed to be diplomats and mediators, Theron. If they can't do it with words and ingenuity then they need to go back to Jedi school and take a refresher course. They shouldn't just be given license to scramble people's brains whenever they like."

And again, it seems so simple when she says it like that, and yet I've never once questioned this. I might've wondered about some aspects of Jedi power and Sith power, and why certain things were light and certain things were dark, but…

"So, are you saying that mind tricks are…dark side?" Considering it now, I don't see how anyone couldn't think so. Instead of viewing it as a mercy, I'm now just…seeing the complete dispassion you'd have to have to make no effort whatsoever to try and use words to convince someone or work a little harder to get them what they want so you can get them to cooperate.

And the…violation, never occurred to me either. I mean, they just kind of tell you what to think and I always assumed it just…lasts for a few minutes? Maybe a few hours?

I don't think I've ever looked into that.

"If you wanna put it that way," she sighs. Lifting her other hand to rub her eyes, she yawns, but tries to hide it.

And I remember I apparently woke her from a dead sleep just by walking up outside her door.

"You know what? I think I should let you get some sleep." I release her hand and stand up, but stop when she shoots up to follow me.

"Theron, tomorrow, we need to talk," she says. Nervously picking at the sleeve of her nightgown. "It's late now and we should both sleep, but there's things we should really discuss."

I know she's talking about the kiss and I am regretting it every second she looks uncomfortable right now. I don't even know why I did that. I was just overwhelmed with this feeling, like I  _needed_  to touch her. Kiss her. Hold her tight against me. I had some restraint, but I don't think it was enough.

Could've sworn all this time she was into me, but the way she's fidgeting…

"You don't have to say anything," I say softly. Silently looking at her until she looks up at my face. "I should…apologize, for that."

She blinks and tilts her head, "for what?"

It can't be possible that we're talking about two different things.

"I…when I came in the room, I…" I gesture at the door, unable to say the words.

Her eyes widen a little. "Why would you apologize? I've given you so many mixed signals, it's no wonder you got confused."

Well that's…better than being told I'm a huge creep, I guess. "I still shouldn't have-"

"Well no. I mean, obviously that's something you should talk about first or wait for some kind of consent on, but I can understand why you would think I'd…respond to that." She says. "The only thing you should be sorry for is not pausing to wait for me to meet you in that kiss, not for the…the kissing itself, that wasn't…" She's getting flustered. "I mean if I didn't have to be…"

She bows her head and rubs her eyes again. "This is why we need to talk about this tomorrow, I'm…all fuzzy-brained and I can't talk."

"Do you want me to come here, or…?" I'm feeling more awkward by the second.

"No, we can meet up wherever," she replies. "When you're ready, just message me and tell me where to go."


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Know that interactive novel I ended up having to rewrite the beginning to?
> 
> Well here's the link to Book 1, Chapter 1!
> 
> First link is textadvantures and the second is philome.la. Depending on which you're more familiar or which you like more...
> 
> http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3brzzlnut0c0cdgiitluzw/aetherial-identity-rewritten  
> http://philome.la/UnrealRomances/aetherial-identity-rewritten
> 
> I finished chapter 1!!!

He's been trying to avoid me all day, and I know I'm not imagining it.

Making excuses and leaving the room when I enter, ducking out of a hallway I was about to go down and finding another to walk in-

"This is ridiculous," I say, having finally cornered him in his office. "We need to talk, Theron, you can't avoid me all day."

He's staring at me from his desk chair, frozen in mid-motion. "Uh…"

"Don't even," I warn him. "I  _know_  when someone's avoiding me. I didn't think you were the type to do this childish bullshit,  _especially_  after we agreed to talk last night."

He actually  _blushes_  and stands from his seat in a nervous jerk, putting his datapad down before responding. "I was-, I was gonna talk to you later, I just thought…some space, would be good." He states nervously. "But thinking about it now, that probably…didn't look good."

"Ya think?" I ask with a quirked brow, and my arms crossed over my chest.

"I wasn't avoiding you, I promise. I just…" He sighs, really slowly. Calming himself, I think. "What I did was, impulsive. And I was, emotional." His hands kind of flounder as he talks, communicating his anxiety even better than his sorta strained words do. "I thought maybe you might need…some space. I just wanted to be sure you didn't feel…crowded, or hunted-"

"Theron," I say and lift a hand to stop him. "That's really incredibly sweet and well-intentioned of you but you couldn't have shot me a note before you started acting like that?"

He makes a hissing sound through his teeth. "Knew I forgot something."

I sigh and make a 'whatever' kind of gesture. "Free to talk now?"

"I-yeah, sure." He shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and his posture becomes a little hunched and defensive. "Uh…I wanted to apologize, again. I know you said it was fine or whatever, but I still shouldn't have done that… _like_ that."

"I accept your apology," I reply.

He seems a little more relaxed when I answer so easily.

"But the thing we need to talk about is something else…" I say.

"Which is?" He tilts his head at me and suddenly curiosity has overtaken all the other things he was feeling just a minute ago. I can see it written all over his face, in the way his body loosens up and shifts.

"We can't do…the relationship thing," I gesture helplessly. "But it's not because I don't like you."

He's a little harder to read now. "So…why would that be?"

"Well." I grimace. "If I started dating someone who wasn't from an unaffiliated or neutral planet…people would start to think I'd become biased. People like…The Empire. Or the Republic."

"Well…I mean, sure." He nods. "But that's assuming you'd want to take your relationships public."

"I'm not going to hide, who I'm with." I say. "And if I'm going to have any relationship at all, it either has to be someone neutral, or…multiple people."

"Multiple people?" He asks. And I still can't decipher how he looks.

"I'm polyamorous," I reply. A little uncertainly. I think I'm fidgeting. "Normally I'd just date one person, unless they were okay with more than that- but in the precarious position I'm in now, I can't unless they're an unaffiliated individual. So it's probably best to inform anyone interested in me who is affiliated, that if they want to see me, they'll have to be okay with sharing me. And I never really took you for the type to…be okay with that."

"I mean," he makes a sorta under-his-breath scoffing noise. "How would you even know if you aren't asking?"

"Don't ask me to explain it, but I've got this gut instinct that you might be the jealous type," I reply. "My gut isn't usually wrong. And there's nothing wrong with being monogamous-"

"No I- I don't know, actually, what I am." He says. Hands moving from his jacket pockets to perch on his hips as he shifts his weight. "I've never really had a serious relationship before. So I wouldn't know."

"You would," I reply. "You wouldn't need to date both men and women to know what your thoughts are on your attraction to them, right?"

"Sure, but that seems different," he says. "I mean, did  _you_  always know?"

"Not always," I shrug. "But after a while I realized it. And I never had to date anyone to find out. Ask yourself if you could stand to watch me kiss another person." I say. "How do you feel when you imagine it?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. I mean, you mentioning kissing and you in the same sentence just makes me think about kissing you. So I'd probably react by doing that."

My brain needs some kind of heat sink if it's going to survive the way he keeps flustering me completely without even meaning to.

"If you really think you could handle that, then we can try," I reply. Shrugging. "But the  _second_  you start feeling uncomfortable, you will tell me. Otherwise, I can't agree to that."

"So…you're saying you'll go out with me so long as we can both see other people?" he seems surprised.

"Theron, what did you think we were talking about?" I ask in confusion.

"I didn't-" he clears his throat. I think he's blushing. "I uh, dunno. But I…I can agree to that. If you can agree to something else."

I nod, "alright, let's hear it."

"You can't, ever, ask me to do something that will hurt the Republic in order to protect your school or the Empire or anyone else," he says. "As diplomatic representatives, you aren't allowed to ask us that anyway, but…as a..couple-" He seems to be struggling with that part. "If I think you're trying to use our relationship to get something from me, I'll be gone before you can say goodbye. I just…wanted you to know that."

"I can absolutely agree to that," I answer without hesitation. "To be honest, at first, I thought you were trying to seduce me for information."

He blinks at me for a moment. "I…what?"

"Don't be coy, Theron, you started flirting with me almost the exact moment you got here." I smirk. "And I've heard of Jonas Balkar's many exploits in the SIS, too. Wasn't hard to make the most logical leap."

"Most logical…" he's making faces now, though I think they're to comedic effect. "The most logical leap wasn't that I just found you attractive?"

"We'd just met and you still thought of me as a threat to the Republic," I reply easily. "No way in hell."

He snorts at that answer, a little bit. "Okay, you got me, but I wasn't looking for information so much as…just trying to get along. I didn't know what you'd respond to, so I tried a little of everything."

"Well…it worked, obviously." I sort of lace my fingers together and then clench my hands. "Uh…I should probably get back to work, and so should you. But we should talk more about this later."

"Over dinner maybe?" he asks. "Tonight?"

"Sure," I agree. "See you in my room when you can tear yourself away from work, since I know you won't be able to at the actual dinner time."

He chuckles at me as I leave the room, but I'm right.

And as I pause in the hallway after the door has closed behind me, I realize I was just asked out on and accepted a dinner date. All without really thinking about what that means.

Do I need to dress up or go to extra effort to make the surroundings romantic or is that too much too fast?

Hm. I should ask someone.

Vette's still here, I bet she's dated at least a few people and probably has some kind of opinion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Know that interactive novel I ended up having to rewrite the beginning to?
> 
> Well here's the link to Book 1, Chapter 1!
> 
> First link is textadvantures and the second is philome.la. Depending on which you're more familiar or which you like more...
> 
> http://textadventures.co.uk/games/view/3brzzlnut0c0cdgiitluzw/aetherial-identity-rewritten  
> http://philome.la/UnrealRomances/aetherial-identity-rewritten
> 
> I finished chapter 1!!!


	22. Theron POV

The second I walk into her room, I know something has changed, even though I don't immediately see it at first.

There's a holoprojector at the foot of her bed that wasn't there before. And there's a table next to the bed with plates of food on it. She's sitting on top of her blankets, watching the holoprojections move with wide eyes. Like she's never seen one before.

Though from what she's told me about where she comes from- which isn't much -it's possible she hasn't.

She notices me when she glances away from the projector to the food on the tray and we make eye contact for a few very uncomfortable seconds.

I swallow and clear my throat. "Hey."

"Come sit and watch this with me," she says and turns her attention back to the projection. "It said it was about Jedi and Sith but these people know nothing about them, it's infuriating."

She says that, but she's so engrossed. "Oh yeah?" I ask as I step further into the room. "What are they getting wrong?"

"Well first of all, their outfits are all fucked," she says without hesitation. "The Sith is dressed in too many bright colors with no explanation whatsoever- darksiders usually wear black with splashes of color here and there for some edgy reason. And Jedi wear robes that are beige or brown or some other muted, not really bright, colors. This guy is wearing a rich russet robe embroidered with some kind of gold thread."

"Not every Jedi and Sith dresses the exact same." I've seen some oddballs myself.

"It's not just these two," she gestures at the screen. "Every single Sith and Jedi in this movie is dressed ridiculously. One character like this, okay it's a character thing- all of them and that's just. Infuriating."

"So you said before." I sit on the edge of the bed, next to her. Feeling a lot more comfortable with all the focus on something else. I know I'm the one who invited her to dinner, but I've never actually done the whole dating-thing for more time than it took for someone to get fed up with me.

And…I don't want her to get fed up with me so fast.

Especially not now that I'm seeing her in her off-time for the first time. Besides the one time I barged in on her unannounced in the middle of the night, of course.

I've seen her during off-hours before, but usually her hair is up in a bun and she's wearing…different clothes.

She looks like she did when I kissed her, and it's-

"You can sit next to me, Theron." She doesn't look away from the holoprojection but she obviously knows I'm at a loss for what to do here.

I clear my throat and make an affirmative noise before moving closer to her on the bed. I have to take off my shoes so I can pull my feet up and sit with my legs stretched out in front of me like her.

And I still feel super tense. Great.

"Aren't you hot?" she asks.

I stare at her in complete silence for a few seconds until she glances over at me with a raised eyebrow and clarifies with "your jacket?".

Right. Jacket. Hot.

So I take the jacket off, and hang it on the bedpost, leaning back into place and almost jumping out of my skin when she grabs my arm and lifts it up over her shoulders. "You've already kissed me, Theron, I'd say the smaller intimacies should be less terrifying to you. But knowing you, the kiss was probably the easy part."

God, how does she know that. "That's a little…you freak me out sometimes, you know that?"

"Can't really help it. I know things I'm not supposed to. I don't know why or how," she says, still staring at the projection. "But it's a reality of who I am. Can you live with it?"

What, is this some kind of test? "I don't like playing these games."

She looks up at me then from under my arm with a scrunched up nose and narrowed eyes- I refuse to acknowledge how cute it is -and says, "what games? This is a reality of being in a relationship with or just in close proximity to me. You need to think about whether or not it'll be too much for you. Did I say it wrong?"

My mouth opens and then closes and I just, stare at her for a minute. Trying to think of a response.

"It's okay to just misunderstand people sometimes, you don't have to come up with an excuse or an apology or something." She says. "Whatever it is, just think about what I said, okay?"

And then she reaches up and turns my face so she can kiss me. It's a small kiss, short and sweet and not heated in the least.

It makes my chest hurt and the worst part is, I don't know why.

"Okay, so the other thing that's really irritating me here is that these Jedi are emoting too much and the Sith are emoting too little," she goes on to explain. "Jedi can have sarcastic senses of humor, be kind and warm, etcetera- but you have to  _push_  them  _really_  hard before they show this kind of emotion. And Sith are always embracing their emotions, so to make them so stony-faced all the time is just-"

"Infuriating?"

She gives me a look.

I shrug and spread my free arm. "What? Like that's not what you were gonna say?"

Scoffing, she sits up a little taller and turns into me, laying another kiss on me. This one a little longer and a little deeper. "Well at least I know you're paying attention, I guess."

My arm tightens around her waist where it fell when she moved and I pull her in for another kiss. Free hand curling around the back of her neck.

This is the part of relationships I'm  _good_  at. The touching, the kissing, it always feels really good to just…let everything go and focus on the sensation of another person's body for a while. Whether it's just holding them in your arms or stroking their tongue with yours or something more, it can ground you in the moment in ways a lot of other things can't.

She pulls back before long but doesn't seem willing to move away from me. "I  _did_  get dinner for us, you know. We should eat it before it gets cold."

"I can eat it cold," I reply, moving my head so my lips brush over hers again. Just a little though.

Her fingers tighten where they're holding onto my shirt. "I can't. Please? I promise you can torture me with kisses as long as you want afterwards."

"I'll hold you to that," I respond.


	23. Chapter 23

"What you're wantin', it might not be possible." The Mandalorian smith informs me. "I can give it a go, like you ask, but it may not turn out. Just want you to know that."

"I'm not expecting any of you guys to perform literal miracles, that would be unreasonable," I reply with a smile. "I just wanna know if it'd work, if it could be possible. I mean, Lightsabers are powerful and can cut a guy in half with light and heat but I wanna bring the grace and elegance back to the whole…saber part. And if possible, making more than just sword-shapes and rods and whips out of the light that's being molded from the crystals…"

"Aye, I'll give it a go and have Torian loan me that fancy crystal of his for testing. What you've got in mind would make a nice weapon for the lad if he can handle it," he says.

"Give Torian enough time and he can learn to handle anything, it's why he's my preferred right hand man."

"Good to hear." a familiar voice startles me. Torian's, to be specific.

He walks over from a nearby blade sharpening station, smiling as much as I've ever seen.

"Don't let it go to your head. Ego kills Instinct," I warn him with a smirk.

"Hah, truer words, never spoken." The smith laughs as he sets off back for his tent, where I presume he keeps all his really special tools. "I'll 'ave a prototype ready for testing by next month."

"No rush!" I call after him. "Just lemme know when you're ready!"

"New weapon in the works?" Torian asks. "For me? Shouldn't have."

"Not  _just_  for you," I slant him a sideways grin. "But I figured you'd be the perfect person to test it out and then figure out how best to use it."

"Gonna tell me what it is?" he sidles closer and asks.

"Nah, I want it to be as much of a surprise as possible," I smirk. "There  _is_  something else you can test for me with your Crystal that I had the smith cook up- it's not made of the stuff I want for the other thing, so it was easier and faster for him to make, apparently."

He nods, "sure. Can't wait to get my hands on it."

"Come on, I'll show you," I grin and gesture for him to follow me as I head back toward the school building.

It's not a long walk into the training room where the kids learn self-defense and whatever other dirty and underhanded fighting moves anyone here can teach them so they can protect themselves. No full-on combat courses, though. Just the skills necessary to defend and run away.

I won't teach children to be war machines, not even with the best of intentions. That always goes wrong.

When we get into the training room, I see that Theron is sparring with Satele and stop for a moment to watch with Torian.

"Theron's in good form today," Torian observes.

"Theron's always at least on his toes," I reply. Eyes glued to that 'form'. "And he's got a clever mind. Usually helps him out of any situation. His mom does seem to be close to kicking his ass, though."

"We can  _hear_  you!" Theron says as his mother tosses him over her shoulder. Or well, right before.  _As_ she tosses him, all he can really say is 'oof'.

"Kinda figured," I say and laugh. "Satele." I greet her with a subdued nod of my head.

"Nik," she turns and bows to me. "I believe that is all we should do for today. I must meet with the children in the Meditation chamber. Some are struggling to find peace."

"But they want to find peace?" I ask to clarify.

She nods. "I have done as you asked and sent any children that don't believe the Jedi way of meditation is working for them, to Sana Rae or Lana Beniko."

"How do you like Lana, anyway?" I ask.

"Don't mind me," Theron mutters petulantly from the floor. "Just laying here, without a hand to lift me up."

I walk over and kneel down to poke him. Leaning over him so my face is hovering over his. "You. Are just sour that your mom kicked your ass."

"Maybe a little, are you gonna kiss it better?" he asks with a sarcastic little smile.

And normally I would, but- not in front of Satele after I just got done telling her that me and her son would never happen. I really don't want the ridicule.

So I chuckle and stand back up, offering him a hand. "I only kiss the kid's boo-boos."

"Damn," he takes my hand and lets me help him up. Though he didn't really need it.

"So what was it you wanted to show me?" Torian cuts in. Looking anticipatory in his stony-faced way.

"Go into the armory and unlock the super hard to unlock box with this," I fish the key out of my pocket and take it off the keyring containing the other keys to this place. I wanted physical keys mostly because…well, it's harder to hack a lock with both physical and digital keys needed to open it. Not impossible, just harder.

Torian takes the key and walks off toward the Armory.

Leaving me alone with Satele and Theron. The former with a critical eye on me and the latter.

"You two have become involved," she observes.

And I wilt. "Are you serious? That took you like ten seconds."

"I may struggle with emotional clarity but I  _have_  been in love once," she says. "And you were just flirting very obviously right in front of me."

"We did that  _before_  we started dating," I mutter and cross my arms.

Theron is giving me a weird look. "Why are you being so weird about the Grandmaster knowing?"

"Oh she assured me it would never happen, a few days ago, in fact." Satele says. Brutally killing me.

"What?" I say to his incredulous look. "I didn't think you were into me!"

"Well, I found it," Torian walks back into the room.

Toting the Electro-staff I had made for him.

"But it's not turning on," he says. Clicking the power button.

"Do you have your crystal on you?" I walk over and as as I go.

"Mmhm," he hums and reaches into a belt pocket. Revealing the sand-colored crystal.

"Alright, here," I reach up and tap a button that releases the door to a hidden compartment in the middle of the staff's handle and then pop the Crystal inside.

Then I back away quickly, taking both Satele and Theron's arms to pull them after me. "Okay now switch it on but be careful. I have no idea if it'll-"

He holds it out from his body and clicks the button again.

And this time there's a crackle as lightning dances over each end of the electrostaff.

Torian twirls it around his hand and spins the handle around his body in a few places- making me flinch in anticipation of the charge being too strong or in the wrong place-but he ends in a defensive stance looking none the worse for wear.

He glances up and catches my eye, his own glittering with some kind of emotion that seems just downright pleased. "I like it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know Torian uses Techstaffs. But I like Electrostaffs better.


	24. Chapter 24

This is always nerve-wracking for me.

"Are you alright?" Vector's soft voice is as beautiful as I remember.

"I'm fine, I'm just-" I fluster. "I don't know if it's rude to ask questions, and I-" I cut off and clear my throat. "I'm  _really_  curious?"

His lips curve into a beautiful little half-smile. Barely an expression, really, but I can tell he's really pleased by my apparent interest. And then he tilts his head and his little smile gets a little bigger. "That was not true, but not a lie."

Ah shit, I forgot he's basically a mind-reader. Aura-reader. Whatever.

"I think if I know more, it'll solve my other problem," I reply. And…I mean, it will. Familiarity can only help with my crush-induced nervousness.

He dips his head in acquiescence. "We will be happy to answer any questions you have."

"Why are only the Dawn Herald types of Joiners allowed any individuality?" I ask.

His lips part a little but he regains his composure almost instantly. "That was not the question we were expecting."

"What question were you expecting?" I ask.

He smiles mysteriously. "I suppose we should answer this one, as it is no trouble to us to do so. It is not something hidden or secret. We only give the ability to self-determine to those we need in order to protect the nest."

"Yeah, but…what about the people who  _make up_  the nest?" I ask. "The Kiliks, the Joiners of all species. Why can't they have enough individuality to form their own personhood and still just…have the hivemind bond? Like you do?"

"You need look no further than the entire galaxy as an example if you wish to know why," he says. Lilting and sweet-voiced as ever. "Individuals choose what is best for themselves and that is not always what is best for the whole."

"No, but what's best for one person or one whole might not be what's best for another," I reply. "There should be room for at least, some kind of culture that allows individuality when it doesn't endanger the Hive. To give the feeling of both security and freedom. I mean, why is it the way it is. Is it a choice the hive makes or is it biological and you were just…turned with different stuff?"

"Ah, the question you mean to ask is  _how_ , then." He says. "The answer is very simple. The Hive decides upon the joining of the individual whether their skillset will be of more use if they have more individual movement and self-determination or if perhaps it would be best consolidated into the whole."

"Which is why you're such great craftsmen, right?" I ask while glancing aside at the Killik guards just kinda milling around. "You consolidate information that has to do with anything that could benefit the hive directly but anyone with skills like yours," I begin and turn back to Vector. "You were a diplomat. A soldier of sorts, with training. But your understanding of other people hinges on whether or not you can comprehend them at all."

His lips curl in a somewhat dazzling, if muted, smile. "We have not met many who grasped it so quickly."

"But you know you'd have a lot more understanding if you had more Killik Joiners on that particular job. Like…Twi'lek joiners interacting with Twi'leks will have a different understanding than human joiners interacting with humans."

He tilts his head at me, "we suppose they would. However, that puts the nest in far greater peril. If they should choose their old loyalties, the nest is in danger."

"But why shouldn't they choose their old loyalties? And for that matter, why shouldn't their loyalties matter to the nest?" I ask.

He's still smiling a little, and it's kind of confusing until-

"This is perhaps the first time we have discussed this with a human and their questions were not focused on undoing the Joining or killing the Killiks," he observes. "None have thought to  _dialogue_  with us."

"You're still  _people_ ," I reply. "Just because people don't treat you like it, it doesn't mean you aren't."

"Would you like to have dinner here this evening?" he asks all of a sudden. "The Hive wishes to share something with you."

I blink a little, surprised and actually kind of…I dunno, touched? "I…would like that? But uh…"

"There will be no pheromones involved," he says. "Joining should be a gift given, not a punishment or a political ploy."

Weird. Is this the same Vector and the same Killiks from the game who wanted to Join a whole noble house in retaliation for their crimes against the Killiks and the Empire?

"I mean…can it also be done on accident is more what I'm worried about. I'd heard about the Pheromones…" I trail off. "Is it deliberate all the time?"

"If you spend enough time with the Killiks at certain points in the Nest on certain days of the year, it's almost guaranteed to happen," he replies. "But today is not that day and we will not take you to any of those places. We give you our word."

"Thank you, Vector, I'd like to have dinner with you." It's after this sentence has left my mouth that I realize I probably just agreed to a date- but no. That's…no.

Vector didn't even really remember what dating  _was_  in the game. He had trouble even socializing.

But judging from the way his abyssal eyes seem to sparkle with amusement at my emotional state, I'm thinking maybe those games weren't as reliable a source as I'd thought they were.

He gets up from his seat and I mimic him, realizing it's time for me to get back and do some work. Dinner isn't for several hours.

Walking over to me, he cuts such a regal figure in his black robes. Something fine and beautiful spun by the Killiks. His smile becomes something soft and sweet when he gets close enough to reach out and take my hand.

"We look forward to hosting you tonight," he says and lifts my hand to press a kiss to my knuckles.

I think I stopped breathing for a second there.

But god, who could blame me?


	25. Chapter 25

"Well," Lana sighs in contentment next to me. "We've a full academy now, haven't we?"

"Nah, this is just the beginning," I flick my wrist, waving that thought away. "We've got a whole planet to clean up and fill with students."

She chuckles, "you do have a wealth of ambition, Headmistress."

We're watching the kids walk around the halls going to and from classes taught by specialists from the Republic Army, Imperial Military and several freelancers I'd been able to hire on for the year, with a chance to renew their contracts next year.

Oh that's another thing! Lana, Theron, Torian and I all came up with some good laws and a currency system. People were going to come in from outside and try to spend their credits here, which would be a problem as I'd intended for no money exchanges to happen on the planet itself. Everyone would have what they need to survive and outside that, they could work out trades amongst themselves. But I didn't want credits involved.

So we found a workaround. Everything goes back into the infrastructure of our school and the colony itself.

Oh yeah, we're a whole colony now. Happened kinda fast.

The mandalorians are actually pretty stoked to have a place to call home, even if it's only conditional under our very specific mandalorian-laws.

Yes, I made a whole sub-set of laws just for mandalorians. I had to. I also had to make specific laws for both Imperial and Republic citizens. The way this works is that everyone is in a different area. Different…settlement, I suppose. Except here, things work a bit differently even with the laws being what they are.

You decide as a community what laws apply to you. If your community's laws aren't right for you, join another one.

I mean, the big things, were for me to determine, but like- drug and litter laws and shit like that are all up to the citizens. I personally don't believe drugs should be illegal but if we're going to make a space that's good for everyone, I have to allow the other settlements to set their own laws.

Still got my own settlement out here, the biggest one, still. With my own personal set of laws and regulations.

For instance, sex work is legal in my settlement, but only if the person is of age and I didn't wanna encourage older people buying time with freshly eighteen year old girls and boys so I made 'of age' a bit higher. Twenty-five, to be perfectly exact.

You can still learn to drive and fight at around sixteen to eighteen years of age- and having sex that isn't solicited is of course allowed with anyone around your own age group- but the rules are very strict and specific about what age gaps are acceptable and which ones aren't.

In my colony you get the death penalty for child molestation and rape. Lana was surprisingly on board for those. I mean, I figured the rape might make her side-eye me, seeing as Sith tend to do a lot of that. But Lana's never really been a typical Sith. I always loved her character and I'm beginning to like the woman more and more.

Drugs are legal in my settlement, so long as they don't prove a detriment to you or your family's lives. Meaning that you'll get a government-sanctioned intervention if you lose your job and other things like that. No more drugs for you until you show you can handle them or you won't get them back.

Might seem odd to some people but I know there's some things you can't really medicate normally. Some certain specific types of depression, no matter what you do, you can't make the world right. You can't fix it. And drugs are a band-aid, a poorly placed one at that, but I'm not going to doom people to despair-induced suicide if I can help it.

Also, I'm…looking into better pharmaceutical solutions to those specific problems. Or I should say…

"How's Doc settling in?" I ask.

She sighs, "he's begun flirting with everything that moves, but as you asked he's kept it strictly professional with anyone working in the academy."

"So he flirts with the settlers but not the employees and volunteers, that's good. I asked but I didn't know if he'd be able to do it. Flirting seems almost reflexive for him." I'm glad he actually has some self-restraint. I always liked Doc, not really enough to choose to romance him over Scourge if that was ever an option, but for my only option in the base game for a Jedi Knight, he wasn't bad.

"On that note, the Balmorran resistance would like to thank you again," Lana says. "All the new medicinal remedies that Doc has been able to create from the native flora and fauna have contributed greatly to their efforts- as well as that of the doctors he was able to call in favors from and get transported to their headquarters. However did you motivate him to do these things?"

I didn't have to do much. A new planet means new viruses, new medicines- new everything. Giving him the chance to be a pioneer in his field on a whole new planet was enough. I remembered that about him. Zenith was pretty upset about the fact that Doc was joining me, until I informed him of all the doctors Doc was calling up. And then the whole agreement that I'd give a couple of shipments of medical supplies to the resistance.

Then he was pretty content to let things be and go on another mission for me. A very important one.

In fact most of my new recruits are out on their own special missions. Vette agreed to work for me after I had she, her mother and her sister all liberated and brought here. I had to work fast, so far as I knew her mother could be dead already and if so, I didn't want Tivva going the same way.

Everyone got installed in the Twi'lek settlement but Vette got bored. Because of course she did. And also, she wasn't happy to just sit by and do nothing when her people's stuff was scattered all over the galaxy. Even if she and her family got their happily ever after, a lot of others haven't yet. I think that bothered her, a lot.

"I just asked. He seemed eager to help. How did your superiors react to your report on it?" I ask.

Lana pauses and slowly glances aside at me. "You know about that?"

"I assumed, I mean, I'm not  _naive_ , Lana." I snort. "All evidence to the contrary apparently, but…eh. I kind of assume you tell them every little detail. It's not a big deal. As long as I help Imperial, Republic, Voss and other factions in exchange for favors, I'm still basically neutral."

She blinks, "you intend to do this with all factions?"

"I already have to some extent," I quirk an eyebrow at her. "I mean, you're here."

"I…suppose I am. What else would you need from the Imperial military and Sith?" she asks. "I know you're still looking into more doctors, teachers…but those aren't really like favors, not like this you've done with the Balmorrans."

"So you think," I shrug. "And there's a lot more I might possibly need in the future, things I'd be able and willing to trade certain other things for. That's what it's like, doing business with the Hutts, isn't it? Except less gift-giving and ass-kissing."

Lana coughs to cover the loud bark of a laugh she wanted to make, I can just tell. "Yes, well…no arguments there."


	26. Nik POV, Vector POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only two updates this week, unwritten and A new order because I feel terrible and I couldn't finish a third. Ugh...

It hasn't been that long since Vector first invited me to dinner.

Things came up and I was never able to go, but we made a make-up date for tonight.

Make-up appointment. It's not a date.

I don't think it's a date.

"It's a date," Theron sing-songs at me from the recliner in my office, opposite my own and across my desk.

"It's not a date," I reply. "I…don't  _think_  it's a date."

Theron chuckles to himself. "How am I better at this than you?"

"Oh shove it," I huff and stand up to walk over to my bureau and mirror. "If it's a date…or if it's not a date…god, how am I going to dress for this. If I try too hard and it's not a date, I'll make everything awkward. But if I don't and it is, he might take it as a sign I don't want it to be a date."

"Why does this have to be so complicated?" Theron asks. Still highly amused. "Dress up in one of your fancy dress suits and whether it's business or a date or a friendly thing, you'll look fine."

"If it is a date, then a suit that I regularly wear to do business-" I cut off and open my closet. "Wait, I had that thing commissioned, where is it…"

"New thing commissioned, oooh," Theron teases. "Whatever it is, are you sure it's not too fancy? You barely commission anything."

"It's just a suit dress," I reply over my shoulder as I dig through for it.

"I thought you didn't wanna wear one of those," he calls over.

"Not a dress suit, a suit dress!" I call back as I pull it out of the closet. "And I commissioned three. One simple, one kinda flashy but still basic and one super fancy. For special occasions."

I turn and catch him looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

Pouting, I reply, "Lana made me get something fancy so I snuck in some not-so-fancy stuff too."

He snorts and goes back to his datapad. "Lana still hasn't figured out how devious you are yet, huh?"

"And hopefully she won't for some time," I reply. "Lana's respect will be hard-won to begin with, I'd really rather have a running start and then just kinda smash into the wall of her approval with everything coming out at once. Now what do you think?"

I've taken it out of its garment bag to show him.

"That is definitely a suit that also looks like a dress," he replies. "I don't know anything about how it'll look on you until you put it on, though."

I cock a brow. "Is that your very subtle way of asking me to model for you?"

"It wasn't, but, I mean, it's not like I wouldn't enjoy the show." He says. Sitting in his chair with his arms crossed in a pose that obviously says 'I'm comfy here' with his legs crossed at the ankle, stretched out before him.

I roll my eyes. "Not gonna be much of a show, I hate to disappoint. I wear the most uninteresting underwear and I don't do anything gracefully."

He shrugs.

So I turn and lay the suit dress out on the bed. Standing to full height, I pull my shirt off over my head and unfasten my pants. I don't hear him making any commentary so he's either gone back to work or he's waiting for me to trip over something before mocking me.

After I've taken everything off, it's a simple matter to part the suit dress at the back and slip into it.

It has leggings but they're made of very thin, breathable material. They're just there to make sure I don't flash anyone, as my dress does this sort of…asymmetrical thing, where it's mid-thigh in the front and mid-shin in the back.

I wanted something that when you look at it, you can't tell if it's a suit or dress one way or the other. I love being androgynous to a certain point, but with a flare of femininity. It's always been my style.

The leggings themselves are sheer, except under my skirts where they extend from the base of my thighs and up around my hips. There, they're blue. A deep blue, to match my suit dress. So if my dress is blown up, they'll just look like shorts.

Smoothing my ruffled edges out and pulling my hair out of the way, I reach back for my fasteners, and then realize I won't be able to get them on my own.

Another pair of hands is doing them up before I can even ask.

He took off his work gloves and he's brushing my skin way more than he needs to. Pausing to caress my spine the whole way up until the top of my suit dress is fastened.

Then he lays a kiss on the side of my throat. "Perfect."

I swear to god if I weren't already braced from the wibbly feelings of having his fingers brushing my skin so much, I'd have lost control of my legs.

"I…I'm gonna be late if I don't leave soon," I say. Strangling myself a little, though I hope it isn't that noticeable. I sound…almost normal. Right?

Judging by the huff of amusement that tickles my throat, I'm guessing I was more obvious that I'd care to be. "I know. Believe it or not, this is me behaving myself."

And then his hands slip away from me and I can no longer feel his breath on my nape. And I can breathe again.

"Uh hey, I've been meaning to ask you," I turn as he trots back over to his datapad like nothing happened the little shit. "Have you been working with your crystal?"

"Working with it?" He glances up and turns back to face me. "Do you mean working while…within the same general area…or…"

"You do morning meditations with Satele, don't you? Have you tried using the crystal?" I ask.

He scratches the back of his neck and glances away, "they don't…I'm not a force user, it wouldn't-"

"I know a lot of people who don't have force powers, who use crystals to meditate," I cut him off. "You're supposed to treat this with the dignity and gravitas it deserves and that Crystal is important and  _yours_. You're the only one who can use it."

He sighs loudly, "fine. Fine, I'll use it. Okay? I just don't see the point."

"And that's exactly why you have to use it," I rebut as I step into my knee-high boots and then walk for the door. "Let me know if you notice a difference after a month or so."

He shrugs and throws a hand in the air as he sits back down with his datapad. "Whatever!"

 

* * *

 

Vector POV

It is easy to tell when a person is lying to you. If you're a Kilik, that is.

We knew when we asked her if she was uncomfortable, that her excuse was not the truth, but it was also not a lie. A startling contradiction. Fascinating.

So much so in fact that we find we are  _impatient_  to see her again. After our invitation, she had to cancel. And postpone. We thought perhaps it was a polite way to refuse. As social faux-pas go, it would have been the most well-meaning way we had been rejected.

But then she contacted us. Her schedule had opened up and she did not foresee any problems cropping up for the next week at least. So she thought, perhaps we might still honor our invitation.

There is so much about her that both delights and confuses us.

And here she is…

She is wearing different clothing than usual. Nothing too formal. Nothing to indicate she considers this a work outing. Attempting to show a casual face? Wants us to know this is not work?

Or perhaps thought nothing of it at all. She could have very well been wearing this all day and came in what she was wearing. She  _has_  done that before…

"Hey Vector!" She calls a greeting as she enters our hive.

It is an old ruin, like the other settlements have. But this one…is perfect for us. So many corridors, so many underground tunnels that lead to the surface. We think she must have picked it specifically for us.

"Headmistress," we nod to her in greeting. "We are glad you could join us."

"Me too!" she chirps and smiles. And her aura lights up with a radiance of happiness. Joy. Pleasure. "So what are we doing?"

Our lips cannot seem to stop twitching up when she is within the Hive. It is mostly involuntary. Very distressing for a practiced diplomat. But it also makes her all the more alluring. Something about her is very…very attractive.

Not in a sexual or romantic sense, though…I suppose that as well. It is like she is a planet all her own, and everyone who gets near is caught in her orbit. Strange. So strange. So marvelous.

"We thought we might have dinner and show you the grand ballroom." We reply.

She blinks, "I didn't know the temples had those. I could swear they didn't when I checked them last."

We chuckle lightly. "We converted one of the largest spaces into a ballroom. After all, if we are to attend to our diplomatic duties here as well, it would do well to have a place where people can congregate. We have not been able to host a diplomatic party in some time, you see."

"We or I?" she asks curiously. "I mean, your individual self or the whole hive?"

A fair question, we have not… _I_  have not…hosted a party since we became Joined.

"I," we reply. "It was when we were…human."

"You're still human, Vector," she says, frowning. "I know what you mean but you don't really think you're not human anymore, do you?"

"Do you disagree?" We ask. Lost for other words.

"There were more than just one kind of human back in the days of our earliest evolution, you know," she says. "Or at least, so far as I know? More than one species of 'human'. Just because you've joined another culture and society doesn't mean you've become a whole 'nother species, and even if it did, you'd just be a different  _human_  species."

"That is a curious opinion," we observe. "Not many would agree with you."

"Not all people actually elect to think for themselves," she replies. "I've tried to collect all the ones who do. It's difficult. Knowing who to take in and which ones it's too dangerous to talk to. I just want everyone to get along so I can be friends with everyone and no one goes to war over it."

Our chest pangs in sympathy for her. She is so fascinated by the Kiliks, that has always been obvious. Asking questions no one else has, or at least, has not asked  _often_. At first we thought it the simple fascination of those afraid of something, who wish to know more and conquer their fear.

We find that in itself an admirable quality. Attempting to educate yourself in the face of fear…we only wish it weren't so often directed at us.

But we have seen from our time with her so far that she is simply…curious. About everything. About aliens, about their cultures, about the way they feel.

We can relate to that. The curiosity, the desire for friendship with others who are different from ourselves. The need to  _learn_.

"As do we," we lament. "But I suppose that will always be a dream so long as we are not all of the same hive."

"Well that would be boring, I think," she says. "If everyone is the same like in a Hive, there's no more to learn about. No more exciting things to discover or feelings to feel. Everything is just…" She shrugs. "The same."

"We disagree. We have learned many things by joining new people to the Hive," we reply.

"We're speaking in terms of everyone, everywhere, yes?" she asks. "So if you've joined everyone in the universe, what is there left to learn?"

A question we had not considered. An answer we do not have.

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure fantasy wish-fulfillment. I am not aiming for realistic.
> 
> It's just supposed to be fun and for me to write to get ideas out of my head.
> 
> Just wanted to say that and get it out of the way.


End file.
